Fluff

My daughter-in-law turned me into an addict. She should know better, she knows my personality. I tend toward excess and obsession. She introduced me to a website called 750 Words. The goal is to try to write 750 words every day or as often as you can. Roughly equivalent to three pages of writing. I love it. Try to hit it every day. 99% of that stuff ends up on my blog. Why not just write in your blog, you ask? Because I like to get my points on 750. You get so many points for this and so many points for that. And it tracks how many days you write. Yeah I'm just like a kindergarten kid looking for that good report card to please mommy and daddy. Reminds me of a childhood incident. I was very young, don't remember what grade I was in, but I got one B on my report card. This was in dinosaur days when you actually, physically got a report card. Today they probably twitter the goddamn thing to your parents. I was terrified of my parents so I took a pen and wrote an A over the B. Didn't try to erase the B, just wrote right over it. I was a brilliant child. Got in a LOT of trouble for that one. Imagine the pressure my parents exerted for me to be so terrified about getting a B. But that's a story for another place and time.
750 also tracks stuff like mood and attitude based on which words you use the most. You should see my rating. I won't be giving any Positivity Seminars in the immediate future.
As you well know I see myself as a writer. It's entirely possible that as they are etching "Formerly an accountant" on my gravestone my spirit will be silently, futilely screaming "No I was a writer!!!!." I may never make it. Not sure I have the talent, not sure I am going about it in the best way. That's a lie. I am damn sure I have the talent. But a lot of talented people are dishwashers and burger flippers.
750 has inspired me to write a lot this year and I love it. Brain drippings, musings, rants, inspired stuff, boring stuff, rehashed anger. Feels so good. I feel it is sharpening up my writing style. Who knows. I hope it leads to something. If not I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
So I haven't been able to write for the last two days. Life got in the way. My hands were shaking, I was sweating like Youkilis, my eyes were glazed, and I was doubled over in pain until I was able to crawl to the keyboard this morning. Sweet relief. Holy abandon.
By the way, regarding the pusher man, my daughter-in-law. I hate that expression. It qualifies and categorizes her. In-law my ass. Carol and I love her as a daughter and that is the way we think about her. She is a magnificent person who has made our lives better and more interesting by joining this family. Even though she has given me one more addiction to battle.
NEW THOUGHT (try to keep up) - Carol was getting ready for work the other day, seemed uninspired, so I asked her if she was OK. It's just another day, was her answer. Those words stung me, slapped me right in the face. She is a positive person, she is love personified, she is an optimist, she is a rock. If life can do that to her, it's no wonder I keep Seagram's in business. I am weak, she is strong like bull. It got me thinking how hard life is to negotiate. But then again all I have to do is look at the example she sets to see how you can make life softer with the right attitude. That comment was her being human. Normally she is super human.
That's alright. I am on a mission. I am puffing out my chest and taking on the world. We eat cat food three days a week because I don't hold up my end of the bargain. Not making enough dough. That will change this year. From writing, from The Wonderful World Of Booze, or from some source that I cannot even anticipate. I am pinging my vibe like Yo Yo Ma. You don't want to get too close to me because it will mess up your hair and knock you down. I am vibrating like a tuning fork. And I want to make Carol's life easier. Because she deserves it.
ANOTHER NEW ALTHOUGH RELATED THOUGHT - The cats were with me in bed this morning and Carol said she was glad she had turned me into a cat lover. Then in a somewhat related thought she said she made me a race fan too. I said yeah, having you in my life has changed me. She said, upon reflection, that she hadn't really changed me, she had just brought out what was already there, things I never had an opportunity to explore or express before.
The woman is a genius.