The Road Goes On Forever

I have to dig deep today.

As deep as I possibly can into the dark recesses of my soul.

The Allman Brothers Band cancelled their last four shows at The Beacon Theatre in NYC in March because Gregg came down with bronchitis. Butch Trucks missed an earlier show in the run due to an "undisclosed illness."

Every March since 1989 The Allman Brothers have set up shop at The Beacon for two or more weeks. Fourteen shows, fifteen, sixteen - it has been epic.

I have been lucky enough to have been there twice. This is the Holy Grail for Allman Brothers fans. I cannot overstate the significance of these shows. The band takes over Manhattan. Every bar within walking distance is filled with fans, every bar is playing their music. Everybody on the street is a fan. Musicians play on street corners, it is a party, a celebration and a form of worship you cannot comprehend if you do not dig ABB.

When you walk into the Beacon you get goosebumps. The place is holy. It is a former depression-era movie palace. It carries that magic, that aura. It has been home for The Allman Brothers for 25 years.

So you can understand how unsettling it is for them to cancel shows.

There are four surviving founding fathers of the band. Gregg, Butch Trucks, Jaimoe and Dicky Betts. Dicky was kicked out of the band in 2000, so Gregg, Butch and Jaimoe carry the torch.

The rest of the originals include Duane Allman who died in 1971 and Berry Oakley, who died in 1972.

I am going to cover familiar ground for anybody who even casually visits these pages. You will have to live with that; this band means everything to me.

Derek Trucks (Butch's nephew) has been with the band for 15 years. Warren Haynes for 25. These are two of the most talented guitarists you will ever experience. They both recently announced they are leaving the group at the end of 2014.

This is a huge blow.

In addition Gregg recently announced the band will stop touring at the end of this year.

I am staggered with this news. Uprooted, unbalanced and crushed.

I began a love affair with this group in 1969, the year their first album came out. I was fifteen years old. I have followed them reverently ever since. 45 years.

I began seeing them in concert in 1989. Kind of late but I made up for it with a vengeance. Since then I have seen them at least 30 times.

 I remember the 1989 concert. In an outdoor stadium in Nashua with my close friend Alan. Just the two of us getting crazy and digging on a monumental band.

They tour every summer, which syncs with my soul because I live for summer. I saw them at least once almost every year, twice during many summers and three times one year when I went to a concert alone. I have brought converts into the fold along the way, the most notable being my brother. I am proud of that because my brother is exceptionally knowledgeable musically and he is blown away by this band's talent.

They have been the musical highlight of my summer for just about 25 summers.

Allman Brothers fans are a community. Part of the fun of the concerts is the parking lot before the show. Everybody is friendly. Comparing albums, concerts, talking about the individual members of the band like relations. You walk through the lot, stop anywhere and you are talking and laughing. Digging the music, which is vibing from every other vehicle in the lot.

The past couple of decades have been particularly satisfying to me because there are a hell of a lot of 20 year olds in the crowd who dig the band as much as us old farts. Young bloods who know and appreciate the history and musicianship of the band. Young bloods who treat us ancient warriors with a bit of awe because of our lifelong commitment to The Allman Brothers Band.

I have shared many a joint and many a beer with these fans and I have laughed and conversed with them deeply. It has amplified my enjoyment of the whole experience.

I am poised like a snake about to strike with regards to this summer. I have to see them more then once. The four Beacon shows are going to be re-scheduled and I will be there if I can find any way in hell to do it.

I cannot imagine the summer of 2015 without an Allman Brothers concert. Literally feel a hole in my gut thinking about it. I don't want to think about it. It depresses me. This band has become so infused with my soul, with my human essence that being stripped of the magic of seeing them on stage leaves me numb.

One lyric that is eternally and inextricably tied to the Allman Brothers is "the road goes on forever" from "Midnight Rider." T-shirts, a compilation album with that title, etc.

But the road does not go on forever. Everything ends.

I am not giving up. They may pop up with another line-up. I have seen lists of possible guitar virtuoso replacements and the names are impressive. The Allman Brothers have imploded before but they have always bounced back.

Somehow, this time, it does feel like the end.

Unless you have a love, something outside yourself that fuels your ability to survive, you cannot understand what I am feeling.

Right now, when this band stops touring, there will be a void in my life that I cannot imagine filling. Summer will never be the same for me.

This saddens me.

But let me tell you something. This band has given me magical musical moments that have blown my head apart. Moments that have amazed me and lifted me up and outside myself and my tiny life to a place of pure ecstasy.

The Allman Brothers Band is a physical and ethereal part of my body and my soul.

I love The Allman Brothers Band.

I always will.