Three Ducks In A Row; Nature Is Cool

I get home from work the other night in a miserable mood.

Once again I let this ridiculous job get the better of me. I was feeling murderous.

As I prepare to pull into the driveway I see three birds across the street by the mailbox.

Plump little suckers. Short to the ground, a lot of red about the head and beak.

I figure they gotta be bald eagles. Or ducks. Or sparrows. Or pelicans.

I am a city boy. I don't know a goddamn thing about birds.

I pull in to the driveway, shut The Big Ride down and look into the rear view mirror.

All three birds are waddle-strutting across the street and straight down my driveway. Not tentatively. Enthusiastically. Like we are going to check this guy out; see what he is all about.

Right then and there I laughed. They were so goddamn cute and determined, quizzical and unafraid.

I slowly exited my glorious car so as not to spook them. I did not even shut the door. They kept right on marching. Right up to the back of the car.

I talked to them. How you guys doing? What's up? Who are you? Where you headed?

They milled around, looking at me with no fear.

After a couple of minutes responsibility kicked in. As much as I wanted to, I could not talk to these guys all night. There was a bag of kitty litter crying out from the trunk so I popped the trunk, assuming it would startle my fine feathered friends.

It did not. They did not budge. At that point I figured maybe I could get up real close, maybe pat them a little, let them know I am one of the good guys.

No chance. I took a step or two, they went on hyper alert and by the third step they were off into the woods.

Slowly. Waddle-strutting. Off to the next adventure.

The thought process obviously was: "We are curious but we are not fucking stupid. After all, you are a human being."

Smart birds.

I grabbed the bag of kitty litter and walked back into what some people consider reality.

Told Carol the story. She laughed. She theorized they were pheasants.

I checked that out on line. I think she is right.

Anybody want to put those cuties under glass - I would have to kill him.