My God! What Have I Done?

First things first.

It is extremely difficult to type when a cat is headbutting your hand and tapping your hand with her paw so she can get some loving attention.

Lakota just settled down, sprawled across the desk. Prior to that she was headbutting and pawing.

Goddamn I love our cats.

Supremely.

Anyway, I visit here in horror. I have been disciplined in exercising and dieting. Very disciplined. For the entire month of May and half of June.

Trying to lose weight (lost 1/4 of an ounce so far), trying to get healthy, trying to get stronger as a pre-emptive strike against the creeping weakness of aging.

I have surprised myself. Getting up earlier than I have to etc. I even buzzed home from work this past Monday and jumped on the exercise bike and flash showered before going out to consume a forty pound burger.

That is pretty goddamn disciplined. (?)

Got home from work last night at 10:00, chowed a burrito and then.........................

I ate a Klondike bar and ten Girl Scout Samoa cookies.

Ten.

One serving of Samoa cookies is considered to be 2 cookies. 2 cookies = 140 calories. I ate five servings. I consumed 700 calories.

A Klondike bar = 488 calories.

In total, I consumed 1,188 calories.

In five minutes.

I walked two miles yesterday. According to a chart I just accessed, I burned 131 calories. I did some phony baloney push ups, some sit ups and some ultra lite weight work. Let's say that burned 19 calories. So 150 calories in total.

Not counting anything else I ate yesterday, I took in 1,038 more calories than I burned.

I got fatter. I feel fatter. 

Goddamn it - I am only human. I'm trying, Jesus, I'm really trying.

I read something yesterday that confirmed what I have always known. Exercise burns a lot less calories than you think and the only way to really lose weight is to eat healthier, along with some sort of exercise regimen.

This confirms my belief that to lose weight you must torture yourself, starve and punish yourself, and then go out with diminished energy to exercise.

I relish this Spartan approach.

Today, so far, I have consumed one cup of coffee and eaten one granola bar. I rode the exercise bike and did some phony baloney weight work, sit ups and push ups.

I am probably already dealing with a calorie surplus.

Still, I am committed to weigh in at 171.4 on July 1.

I am, of course, delusional.