As May Bleeds Into June

OK, yeah, I know today is June 2.

I didn't get in here on June 1 to say or do anything dramatic.

Let me tell you how June 1 went.

It was a day from hell at work, as predicted. Of course this begs the question - was it a day from hell because it was a day from hell? Or was it a day from hell because I expected it to be a day from hell?

As I ponder this all doubt is erased.

Anything, any activity, any chore or task or assignment or responsibility that is connected with, to or emanates from the New Hampshire State Liquor Commission is bound to be a hellish nightmare.

And then we went food shopping.

I don't really mind that. And we experimented a bit. Tried to shop enough for a month.

We stretched the last larder replenishment for an extra week or so and it opened our eyes to possibilities. Even though by last night there was not a bite of food to be found in the home.

It was also exciting for me to buy White Castle frozen burger sandwiches for the first time. Wes at work keeps a package in the freezer and although I haven't tried them it seemed like a brilliant plan.

Nestled in the freezer along with the burgers is the first package of Klondike bars of the season.

Very exciting.

That is not why I am here. I am here to tell you about May.

May opened with a bang. The weather exploded into beauty and I came alive.

Determined to regain an exercise regularity I started walking. Right then and there on May 1.

I did not want to ride the exercise bike. I wanted to be outside in the beauty.

I walked and walked and walked. I walked my way through the month.

I'm pretty sure I didn't miss more than eight days. Pretty good performance.

I have decided to lose weight. I am fat again. The local kids call me Whale Man.

I ate yogurt for breakfast and lunch many times during the month.

Walking and yogurt. Foolproof.

I weighed myself on May 1 and came in at 170 pounds.

Not really. I knew that could not be true. That is too close to the 165 that is my ultimate goal.

Our scale is an old, mechanical piece of crap. No amount of resetting banging or shaking could make the needle stray from 170.

I decided to accept it (even though I knew there was no fucking way).

Weighed myself on June 1 and came in at 175.

There is no way I gained weight, no fucking way. I think the 175 is my true weight, I think the scale told the truth this time.

I was furious even though it wasn't really a surprise.

Fat boy is determined. First of all I am going to buy a digital scale. Then I am going to commit to losing five pounds this month.

I have a lot of other things in mind for my June Manifesto. Some will be concrete. Some will be silly to you but not to me.

Overall I am committed to coming out of June a different man. Noticeably different.

To me and to everyone who knows me.

I'm not ready to lay it out yet.

I am shooting for Thursday. I have Thursday off, thank Christ.

I impressed myself in May. Not with results because there weren't any. But with dedication and determination.

I want to go exponentially crazy in June. Bing bang boom over the top commitment and results.

I                   am                       jazzed.