The human body is an amazing thing. What you can do with it, what you can do to it, what can be done to it.
I just had a tooth yanked out of my skull. Not a big deal, everybody does it these days, we all have rotting teeth from the sickly sweet bullshit we have to swallow every day from those who manipulate our lives. The tooth wasn't loose so Dr. John (his real name, I always want to break into some Cajun rock when I visit him) shot me up good with novocaine and went to work. Twisting, loosening, freeing and yanking. It went quicker than I thought and was effortless. Dr. John rocks. Here I sit with a wad of cotton in my mouth and a sheet of post-extraction home-care instructions.
So there is a hole in my head where a tooth once resided. Not a natural thing, but as the body decays, adjustments have to be made. The ease and non-chalance of the whole deal got me thinking about what a body is and what we do to it.
What you can do with it. Run a marathon. Isn't that incredible? 26 torturous miles. You can take your body and exercise it and train it and feed it right and work your way up to a 26 mile run. Amazing. Climbing Mt. Everest, working out at the gym, triathlons, sports, playing musical instruments, working your ass off on a construction site, working all day and chasing your kids around at night. You can take your body and pretty much train yourself to do whatever it is you want to do. It is flexible, it responds to what you put into it and how you treat it.
What you can do to it. You can drink a quart of whiskey a day for twenty years and still function. Get one hour sleep and go to work and make it through the day. Gain 200 pounds and waddle around for a lifetime. Crawl through every single day completely stressed out, worried and afraid and just keep on going. Heroin, cocaine, marriage, homelessness, smoking cigarettes, any kind of abuse you can think of and your body just keeps on going.
What can be done to it. Heart transplants. You ate too many cheeseburgers, get a new heart. Liver transplant (saved Gregg's life, thank christ). Drink too much whiskey do you? Get a new liver and start all over again. Donate a kidney, receive a kidney, amputation, re-attachment, brain surgery. The human body can be repaired in miraculous ways and it bounces back and gives you new chances to look honestly into the mirror.
Of course, as with anything meaningful and real in our lives, we take all this for granted. Pay attention to your body. It's cool and it's yours. Experiment with it to get out of it whatever it is that vibrates within your brain.
The human body is holy and it is tough. It gives you chance after chance to hang around a little longer so you can DO something worthwhile with your life. No matter whether you abuse it, take care of it, push it or get it repaired. Or any combination thereof. It's there for you, baby. Within limits.
POST- EXTRACTION HOME-CARE INSTRUCTIONS:
Don't smoke for 24 hours. Not a problem. I have never smoked cigarettes in my life and I don't have the urge for a joint right now.
Nothing too hot for 24 hours. Not an easy one. My wife's pretty hot.
No carbonated or alcoholic drinks for 48 hours. Carbonated; no problem. Alcohol; what are you kidding me? I am a 98%-er. I need booze to survive. I'll lay off for a while but if I don't get some booze in me today the world will take advantage of me. I'm vulnerable.
No heavy lifting. My wife does all the heavy lifting in this family anyway; I'm the dreamer.
No bending over. Bummer. I usually do 350,000 toe touches a day. I'll skip them today. But if you think I am not bending over to kiss my cats you got another thing coming, buster.
No drinking with a straw for 48 hours. What am I, three years old?
Pain control. Dr. John is a purist. He's not the type to prescribe drugs. His only drawback that I can see. I like drugs. His advice is to take 3 Advil and alternate it with extra-strength Tylenol. Give me a break. Percocets would be nice. Oxycontin. Morphine. I'm probably better off with the goody two shoes approach anyway. I would just wash the drugs down with alcohol, and when my wife got home from work she would find me giggling in my recliner watching Gilligan's Island.
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