Sunday morning, baby. Woke up with Carol sleeping peacefully beside me, Maka sleeping at Carol's feet, Lakota curled up next to my fat belly. It hit me what a peaceful and beautiful moment this was. Small and beautiful moments. You have to mine them for every ounce of gold at every opportunity.
Sunday is cool for us because it's the one day we are guaranteed to have off together. I am a low wage earner, so my schedule is odd and I work every Friday and Saturday until 8:00. Sundays are sacred.
Of course the sun was not shining and it was only fifty something degrees. On May 22. Unacceptable. But it is still winter, what more can I expect.
After a cup of coffee and Steven Tyler, I whipped up a fabulous breakfast for us. Omelets, toast, sausage.
Dialed up a movie while we ate. How luxurious. Massive breakfast and a small movie at 11:30 on a sunless, unwarm, Sunday morning.
Jack Goes Boating. I call it a small movie because it is not an action flick, no goddamn Vin Diesel, definitely not an animated movie (ANIMATED MOVIES ARE FOR KIDS)). These are the movies Carol and I love. Movies about small humans trying to survive. Movies about emotion. Check out Nobody's Fool and Beautiful Girls, two other small movies about real humans.
Philip Seymour Hoffman. Gotta love him. He emotes. And does it well in Jack Goes Boating. There are so many scenes where the look on Hoffman's face can make you cry, or at least make you feel. And when you feel, you are alive.
There was more to the story than I expected but it revolves around two painfully shy people. This is what fascinates me and what I usually find in small movies. Honest looks at broken humans.
Because we are all broken. I know I always hammer this point home but I find it fascinating. We all hurt, we all want love and acceptance, the safety of another's arms, the peace that can be found in total trust. But we become actors at some point in our lives and act ourselves right into the grave. We act tough, we act cool, we act like we know what we are doing, we act like we have no need for sensitivity. And we cry in the dark.
I cry a lot. I am a sensitive soul. Music, movies, news, books, the plight of other humans - you name it, it can make me cry. I don't apologize for this. Except for that one time at Sarge's Tailgate Grille ( go there - it is an awesome restaurant and bar)where I was asked to read a family story in celebration of my in-laws anniversary. I literally cried like a baby through the whole thing. Exceptionally embarrassing for everybody involved. You will never talk me into doing something like that again.
I dig these movies because you see people as they really are. Sensitive, lost souls who are struggling to figure things out. Struggling to connect in an honest way. Afraid, no self confidence, but openly so. People who are not putting up walls, not faking it, not acting (sorry to confuse you). You will never see this in life because we are all phonies, we are so afraid of honesty that we hide behind jokes and tough guy facades, so much so that the real human disappears.
I don't know what the world would be like if everybody was painfully honest. And I'm not talking about going up to people and telling them that they suck. I'm talking about just being yourself in a raw and truthful way. All the time.
In fact I'll take it one step further and envision a world where everybody has a job that they like (job hating - another human reality that fascinates me) and they are open and honest all the time. I actually cannot visualize this but I am pretty sure it would be a better world than the one we have now. Just call me John Lennon.
In Nobody's Fool there is a scene with Paul Newman (Sully) and a guy named Rub who has worked for him forever. Rub has nothing, he is not a smart guy, no money, a very small life. He is jealous because Sully's son has been working with them. Sully goes over to his house, Rub is sitting on his stone steps in the snow. He tells Sully how unhappy he is about the son thing. Sully puts it in perspective by telling him "Peter is my son. You are my best friend." And Rub cries. It means everything to him to know that he is Sully's best friend. That scene alone is more powerful than any goddamn action movie could ever be. I cry every time I see it and I have seen it 137 times. Because that is the life that we all hide, the life that we keep below the surface. Honest, raw emotion; the essence of what it means to be a human.
Go out and rent these movies or netflix them or redbox them or stream them to your computer machine or watch them on your damn phone. You have a hundred different ways to access them and no reason not to.
Try a little raw emotion, try a little honest humanity. It might blow your mind.
Sunday is cool for us because it's the one day we are guaranteed to have off together. I am a low wage earner, so my schedule is odd and I work every Friday and Saturday until 8:00. Sundays are sacred.
Of course the sun was not shining and it was only fifty something degrees. On May 22. Unacceptable. But it is still winter, what more can I expect.
After a cup of coffee and Steven Tyler, I whipped up a fabulous breakfast for us. Omelets, toast, sausage.
Dialed up a movie while we ate. How luxurious. Massive breakfast and a small movie at 11:30 on a sunless, unwarm, Sunday morning.
Jack Goes Boating. I call it a small movie because it is not an action flick, no goddamn Vin Diesel, definitely not an animated movie (ANIMATED MOVIES ARE FOR KIDS)). These are the movies Carol and I love. Movies about small humans trying to survive. Movies about emotion. Check out Nobody's Fool and Beautiful Girls, two other small movies about real humans.
Philip Seymour Hoffman. Gotta love him. He emotes. And does it well in Jack Goes Boating. There are so many scenes where the look on Hoffman's face can make you cry, or at least make you feel. And when you feel, you are alive.
There was more to the story than I expected but it revolves around two painfully shy people. This is what fascinates me and what I usually find in small movies. Honest looks at broken humans.
Because we are all broken. I know I always hammer this point home but I find it fascinating. We all hurt, we all want love and acceptance, the safety of another's arms, the peace that can be found in total trust. But we become actors at some point in our lives and act ourselves right into the grave. We act tough, we act cool, we act like we know what we are doing, we act like we have no need for sensitivity. And we cry in the dark.
I cry a lot. I am a sensitive soul. Music, movies, news, books, the plight of other humans - you name it, it can make me cry. I don't apologize for this. Except for that one time at Sarge's Tailgate Grille ( go there - it is an awesome restaurant and bar)where I was asked to read a family story in celebration of my in-laws anniversary. I literally cried like a baby through the whole thing. Exceptionally embarrassing for everybody involved. You will never talk me into doing something like that again.
I dig these movies because you see people as they really are. Sensitive, lost souls who are struggling to figure things out. Struggling to connect in an honest way. Afraid, no self confidence, but openly so. People who are not putting up walls, not faking it, not acting (sorry to confuse you). You will never see this in life because we are all phonies, we are so afraid of honesty that we hide behind jokes and tough guy facades, so much so that the real human disappears.
I don't know what the world would be like if everybody was painfully honest. And I'm not talking about going up to people and telling them that they suck. I'm talking about just being yourself in a raw and truthful way. All the time.
In fact I'll take it one step further and envision a world where everybody has a job that they like (job hating - another human reality that fascinates me) and they are open and honest all the time. I actually cannot visualize this but I am pretty sure it would be a better world than the one we have now. Just call me John Lennon.
In Nobody's Fool there is a scene with Paul Newman (Sully) and a guy named Rub who has worked for him forever. Rub has nothing, he is not a smart guy, no money, a very small life. He is jealous because Sully's son has been working with them. Sully goes over to his house, Rub is sitting on his stone steps in the snow. He tells Sully how unhappy he is about the son thing. Sully puts it in perspective by telling him "Peter is my son. You are my best friend." And Rub cries. It means everything to him to know that he is Sully's best friend. That scene alone is more powerful than any goddamn action movie could ever be. I cry every time I see it and I have seen it 137 times. Because that is the life that we all hide, the life that we keep below the surface. Honest, raw emotion; the essence of what it means to be a human.
Go out and rent these movies or netflix them or redbox them or stream them to your computer machine or watch them on your damn phone. You have a hundred different ways to access them and no reason not to.
Try a little raw emotion, try a little honest humanity. It might blow your mind.
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