Anything But

Joy can come unexpectedly and when it does it is magnified tenfold.

Yesterday was our 35th anniversary and also Carol's bowling night. Because we wanted to spend the night together I agreed to go with her to the bowling extravaganza. Carol LOVES her bowling nights. It is her chance to shine. She kicks ass on the lanes, currently sitting in 3rd place for female average. Bowling night is her chance to forget about the goddamn bills and just have fun; to laugh with her very good friends Jason and Stacey.

As I have said before, I bring shady people into our life. Lovable losers and no account boozers. Carol brings quality people into our life. Jason and Stacey are prime examples.

Anyway it was a simple plan for a simple night.

When we got there Jason had secretly spoken to the desk jockey and suddenly there was an announcement over the intercom of the 35th anniversary of Carol and Joe. Hundreds of people applauding and cheering. Goosebumps, baby.

Then Jason and Stacey hand us a bag with a bottle of Asti Spumante and a cool card. One of those cool corny cards where you open it up and hear a cruise ship honking it's horn, suggesting warm and peaceful times. Unbelievable.

Jason and others bought my beers. A simple night had turned into a celebration.

One thing I really dug was that over the course of the night people kept coming over to congratulate and talk to us. People who had been married a long time and understand what it means to spend your life with someone. Their comments had meaning, our conversations were real because we had the shared experience of spending decades fighting back against life's challenges using love as a weapon. I really, really dug that.

We laughed all night long. Jason and Stacey are fun people, real people, no bullsh** people. We laughed.

One thing that kept me grounded was the little boy in a wheelchair in the lanes next to ours. He was a little guy in a very big wheel chair. I don't know what his ailment is but I kept looking over at him. He was so well behaved, so content. He sat there with his parents and entertained himself with toys and snacks. He smiled a lot. As my heart swelled with the joy of this impromptu celebration it also broke to see that little boy in that chair. I felt grateful for my healthy and amazing sons. I don't know who that little guy is but I love him. I love him for being stronger than me.

Carol is the secretary of the league and gets stuck hanging around after her team is done to take care of administrative duties.

So...........................me and Jason and Stacey drove ten minutes down the road to the bar where my son Craig works. He was not expecting me. We walked in the door and I got a big hug and a happy anniversary from my son. We sat at the bar and laughed and talked. Carol showed up a little while later and basked in the hug and happy anniversary Craig-glow.

Part of our simple plan was to hit D'Angelo's on the way home. Instead we opted for bar food to go. The night wound down and we said warm goodbyes to Jason and Stacey and Craig.

Walked into the house and there were anniversary messages on the machine from my brother and from my magnificent son Keith. Icing on the cake, baby. Icing on the cake.

Brief aside: Before we left to go bowling at the beginning of the night, we read a card my brother had sent us. It was a beautiful card that he had personalized in a way that brought tears to my eyes.

I sat my fat ass down on the recliner at 10:30 and chowed a pulled pork sandwich and a mountain of fries as if I had not eaten in a month. We watched TV for a while and I managed to stay awake. For a while.

Predictably, I fell asleep.

I awoke just before midnight, gave our awesome cats their snacks, refilled their water bowl (Lakota loves her water fresh and cold), kissed my lovely wife and wished her happy anniversary one more time at two minutes to midnight. Got it in under the wire.

We planned a simple night to enjoy our anniversary together.

It was anything but. It was a true celebration. Joy and laughter and depth and friendship and love and family and reality. It was the kind of night that you do not want to end. The kind of night that makes you want to call in sick the next day just to continue to take it all in.

In reality, a celebration like that never ends. We have the memories. Memories so deeply meaningful that they became a part of our essence, our spirit, our us.

Absolutely beautiful.