Old Age In All Its Myriad Permutations

I was commuting to The Asylum yesterday in murderous rage.

Despise working on Sundays; in addition floor cleaning was scheduled for last night. All of you holding down low wage earning jobs know exactly what a horrific suck fest that is.

I was despising my life and felt justified in doing so.

Got to a chunk of the road in Peterborough that is delicate and blessed by God. Pass a church on my left - a big old stone church. The kind of church I would attend if I thought Jesus loved me. It is beautiful.

You have to slow way down on this chunk of road on Sundays because church-goers' cars are parked on both sides and it becomes quite narrow. Plus those with great faith tend to step across the road with alacrity, apparently armed with unshakable faith.

I have noticed they are usually older. Even older than me.

Anyway..................I look to my right and see this dapper old dude be-bopping down the sidewalk.

Wearing a suit complete with vest, sporting a cane, and lugging a big fat Sunday paper under his arm.

The cane did not slow him down.

It was 10:00 a.m. and he was coming from the direction of downtown.

My theory was that he had already gone to church, scrambled downtown to pick up his paper, and was now enthusiastically heading home.

To the paper, maybe a cup of coffee, maybe breakfast.

It felt to me like the vibe was that the whole day stretched out before him and he knew it and was enthusiastic about it. Or maybe it was the ritual of the Sunday paper; something he enjoyed immensely. Or maybe he was hurrying the paper home to his wife of 63 years who can no longer get out of the house.

Whatever was driving him, I instantaneously loved this old guy.

If my life does not change I will be the most evil, scurrilous old bastard you ever met. If I even get there, which is doubtful considering the level of bile that flows through my veins.

But

If I change my life I could be that guy. Bouncing down the sidewalk on a gorgeous May morning, hurrying home to my loving wife and a day of peace and smiles.

Given the choice I would rather be him.