Fear, Inc.

Advertising, in this enlightened country of ours, uses fear as a profit generator.

This disgusts me.

I walked out in mind numbing, bone shattering cold this morning to grab Carol's paper. It is Valentine's Day, after all, and not a day to interrupt my amazing string of successful newspaper retrievals.

Walked back into the house with mind alert from the temperature shock and noticed a mailer sitting on our funky pirate's treasure chest/coffee table.

It said: "1 in 2 AMERICAN MEN, 1 IN 3 AMERICAN WOMEN WILL GET CANCER IN THEIR LIFETIME. (The upper case thing is not me - that is how the mailer is printed).

Then: "If it happened to you, do you have the coverage you need ?"

First of all, that is not what I want my mind focused on as I prepare to sit down with a steaming cup of coffee and a new book. I have two days off from my own private Hell. Two days to lick my wounds, question my life choices and attempt to refresh and revive...............HOPE.

Ruminating on my chances of getting cancer is not a good way to grab some peace of mind.

Second of all, it would be nice to think that this company is genuinely concerned about my health and financial well-being, especially when the former negatively impacts the latter.

That is far from the truth.

This company, Mutual of Omaha, is using fear to try to motivate me into purchasing their product.

Throwing stats like that right in your face is meant to shock. Holy Shit - 1 in 2, 1 in 3? Are you serious?

I am a man (some would dispute this). So my chances of getting cancer are excellent. Especially at my age.

How thrilling.

Inside flap: "Help protect yourself from the high costs of cancer-related medical care with Mutual of Omaha."

Like me and MoO are buddies. Partners in life's dance, working together to ease the burden of survival.

Bullshit. MoO is looking right past the tortured look on my face, towards my wallet. I feel it being magically lifted out of my back pocket as I speak.

Some of the benefits are dubious.

"Up to $260 for surgery." $260? I'm hoping this is a misprint. If not, Mutual of Omaha is deliberately trying to insult me.

Or playing on fear again. "I know surgery is ultra expensive but at least that's $260 that doesn't have to come out of my pocket."

Pay attention to all those super drug ads on TV. The ones that offer prescription drugs as solutions for everything from high blood pressure to restless leg syndrome to toenail fungus.

Actually, I don't know if the toenail stuff is prescription but it wouldn't surprise me. One more reason to brag about your meds.

1 out of 3 people who had measles will get shingles.

Fear.

Holy shit - I had measles. I cannot gamble on my health like that, especially considering the odds.

I do love how these same monsters expect you to ignore all the warnings about side effects at the end of the ad. It's OK to ignore that fear.

Fear of death, internal bleeding, paralysis, stroke, blindness, heart attack, kidney failure and pimples.

Ignore that fear but please do fear shingles.

The fact that corporations use fear to get your attention and then present themselves as your savior, is disgusting and disingenuous.

You gotta keep your head on a swivel these days just to protect yourself from EVERYTHING.