It has occurred to me as I live through fall that the season connects with me in a dark way.
I love the early morning low hung sunshine illuminating orange red and yellow leaves. The clarity of the serenely blue sky. The crispness. Even, occasionally, the coolness.
But what really connects with me is the darkness of it all.
Fall is all about death. The leaves are dying. Summer is dead. Fall is the precursor to the most stressful and ridiculously long season of them all.
Fall has a melancholy feel to it, and that vibes with my soul; my view of life and the world.
October kicks it all off and I think Halloween plays right into the scenario. I dig Halloween more every year.
I wallow in horror and it makes me feel alive. Sundance and IFC usually feature horror movies throughout the month. Typically the foreign horror movies are more twisted so I gravitate towards those. I recently re-discovered American Horror Story on Netflix, which is a tasty bonus.
I am gobbling that perversity right up.
Fall is short lived. It is quickly overcome by winter. It is a brief window into the truth. Your body is forced to adjust from the false freedom that summer cruelly dangled, to the looming discomfort of winter.
Fall is the middle man. Gently reminding you that nothing lasts forever and that reality is always cold and unforgiving.
The fall vibe is as much about dark and cold as it is pumpkins and kids kicking leaves. In fact I think the somber feel carries more weight than the cutesy stuff.
I like getting out of work in the dark, driving home through the cold, an insistent breeze blowing leaves off the trees, negotiating around squirrel corpses crushed on the road as they frantically put the finishing touches on preparations for another vicious New England winter.
I think the emotions that are stirred are more honest.
You can pretend that your life is all about sunshine and kittens.
I know that it is not.