Not Dark Yet

Great song by Bob Dylan.

The line goes "it's not dark yet, but it's getting there"

Popped into my head in Market Basket this week. The change in atmosphere was dramatic from last week to this week. I could feel it.

Suddenly there were signs in the aisles cautioning people to stay six feet apart. It was obvious that people were maintaining some distance. Some people were wearing masks. Once I came around a corner and came face to face with someone and we both froze. It was so fucking obvious.

We froze.

There was a running commentary over the loudspeakers. "Please stay six feet apart, please maintain some distance, we are getting shipments in as fast as we can, we are out of toilet paper but there will be a shipment later in the week, some shelves are empty or low - please understand that we are working as quickly as we can."

Tape on the floor at the registers indicating where you should stand.

Felt like a war zone. Felt like an emergency.

When the lyric came into my head I immediately decided it was inappropriate - it is dark. The more I thought about it the more I realized the lyric is dead on. It is bad, very bad, but it is going to get even worse. Much worse.

We are getting there. Getting to a world we cannot understand. A world consumed with fear.

Every time I leave the house I am afraid. Initially I felt a false sense of security because I live in the boonies. Now I know at least one person in Henniker has been infected. In fucking Henniker.

You cannot stay away from people if you have to get food. Period. You have to go to the store.

This past week I was out in public three times. Playing Russian Roulette with my life.

I had to pop into work briefly on Monday and Wednesday so I went by Market Basket looking for toilet paper. Struck out Monday, scored Wednesday. I'll tell you about it later.

Last night I popped into the liquor store and then picked up a pizza. I have good friends in the Hillsboro liquor store. I have worked with them. I don't go there often but when I do I get hugs. We shoot the shit. They were wearing gloves but not masks. There was tape on the floor at the registers indicating where you should stand.

My friend hugged me when I walked in; she always does. She caught me off guard - I was uncomfortable. I was talking to another friend who was working the register. I put my booze on the counter and stepped back to talk to her. Awkward, but they wait on many people during the day. They are being exposed all the time. She told me they are paying her $2.00 more per hour to keep working.

Sound like a fair trade-off? Not to me. I told her, as I have said to Carol a few times already, that I love my whiskey but I have no problem with the liquor stores shutting down.

They should shut down.

As I was leaving my other friend wanted to hug me again. I said no.

Over 7,000 people have died in the United States. And that is the tip of the iceberg. When we are done the number of deaths will be staggering.

I can't visit my sons and their women. It could very well be six months or more - probably more - before I get to be with them again. That has never happened to us in our lifetimes.

Absolutely breaks my heart to think that.

I don't want to die from Covid-19. What a stupid way to die. A heart attack would make sense, maybe a stroke. Cancer is looming - melanoma and prostate. The mine field has been laid.

But Covid-19? Fuck that. What a ridiculous way to go.

7,000 and counting.

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there.

It's right around the corner.