Score!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I scored 18 rolls of toilet paper on Wednesday.

I had an orgasm.

I picked up a bottle of champagne and me and Carol partied until 4 a.m.

I wandered into Market Basket on Monday and struck out. Wandered back in on Wednesday in the middle of the afternoon and they were stocking the toilet paper shelf. How fucking random.

One six pack per customer.

I decided to turn on the charm. I can be quite charming when I want to be. Chicks dig me; it's a natural fact. I held the package in my hand and said to the woman who was stocking the shelf "One package per customer?" She said yes. I asked in my most innocent voice "What happens if I walk up to the register with two?"

She said "They won't ring it up".

Apparently I am not as charming as I used to be.

Flushed with success I decided to stop into Harvester Market in Henniker on my way home.

They had 12 packs on the shelf. Holy shit. I grabbed one and tap danced my way to the register.

I am a mighty hunter. I am capable of taking care of my family. Putting food on the table and a roof over their heads.

And buying toilet paper.

Fucking toilet paper.