I just went out to Dunkin Donuts to treat Carol and me to a quality breakfast.
On the way home the cops - who were on the other side of the road - pulled out, turned around, and followed me for miles down the road. Closely.
When I took my exit they took my exit. Followed me right to my driveway. Closely.
When I turned in they drove by.
I fucking HATE it when cops do that. They are trying to intimidate you into making a mistake - driving too fast, swerving - whatever - so they have an excuse to pull you over. They are praying to randomly catch a drunk driver.
Funny thing is I have had that happen when I WAS drunk and I beat them every time. And I always will beat them every time. Because I have nerves of steel.
But today was a Sunday morning, I was out for a treat, and I was forced to drive like a 109 year old woman. No mistakes. Full attention. Eyes riveted to the rear view mirror.
When that happens I want to point my 12 gauge shotgun backwards over my shoulder and blow the motherfuckers right off the road.
That would be a satisfying start to my day.
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