Bought Myself Some time

The Memorial Day weekend is rolling up on us here in 2021.

It's a big deal.

Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day - all good stuff. They provide a sense of relief to us wee humans; allow us to recapture a slice of our dignity. Three whole days off, away from the menial and meaningless job, and no fucking boss.

But Memorial Day is special. The granddaddy of them all. Suddenly it feels like summer. Boom. Just like that. And summer is the season of abandon. Especially in 2021 after the unimaginable torture and heartache most of us have endured for over a year now.

I took this coming Friday off. A truly gratuitous move. I would have had 5 days off, now I have six. Don't go back to HELL until next Thursday. Suffer through 4 hours tomorrow, 8 hours on Thursday and then................I am free, baby - free to be me, free to dance, sing and emote.

What's the difference between 5 days off and 6? Not a helluva lot. It is more of a statement.

I am not approaching this break apocalyptically like I normally do. You know - 6 days to totally change my life and all that. I am looking for mellow.

I think that is because I already effected a shift in my brain - I just need to nudge it along. Although the past month and a half has been a major setback for me - I drifted off course, got lost and floundered.

Bad stuff.

I will get back on course over those 6 days, and also try to nail down some other shit I've been thinking about.

Gotta get rid of this fucking job. My liver is screaming for a break. Gotta take a step in the right direction - monetize my creative instincts.

It will drive me crazy when Carol retires on June 30, and I am already way out over the edge. There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Life is fixing to punish me and hurt me real bad. I gotta fight back with both fists and both feet and maybe an elbow or two (perhaps some concealed weapons) or I am going down, baby. If I don't fight back, I risk winding up like Randall P. McMurphy at the end of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

And Carol will be gleefully standing over me, pillow in hand.