I am a free man.
Taking some time off. Richly deserved. Left work yesterday, don't go back until October 14.
Do the math. That's a lot of days.
And right in the middle of all that - I am going to Nashville. Fucking Nashville, baby. 4 days.
Actually it's more like 3 days cumulatively - half a day Friday and Monday - full days on Saturday and Sunday. But, come on - 39 seconds in Nashville is life changing.
Please understand - Carol and I lead tiny lives. We don't go anywhere, we don't do anything. On the rare occasion when we travel from one side of town to the other we consider buying champagne.
So this is big.
The timing is perfect. My temporarily damaged finger tells me so.
No grand schemes this time, saving my life and all that. The idea of changing my life around in a way that will make me happy, swell my bosom with pride, is fairly unrealistic.
Options dwindle as years bleed past.
So during this long, sweet break I expect peace, release, recovery and....................the birth of some sort of escape plan.
Got us a realtor coming out Monday to review our options now that we cleaned 90% of our life's detritus out of the house. Get a solid feel for where we are at, what we need to do, what our options are, where the market is at.
Honestly, if we could come up with $115,000 to pay off the mortgage we would be quite content to stay here until the place becomes a mausoleum. Gotta get that fucking monkey off our backs.
But I haven't found $115,000 in a bag by the side of the road yet - and believe me I have been looking - so we will have to dump this place on some unsuspecting sucker who is willing to overpay by 50%.
That is Option #1 - The Big Dream Priority - but since we won't be able to free ourselves quickly enough for me to avoid having to face the music on October 14, I need to find an escape hatch for myself. I need to get the fuck away from this job. That is Option #2 - The Self Preservation Priority.
No idea what that means right now, but in the calm I expect to experience during this hiatus, I should be able to come up with something. I am not brilliant like The Scarecrow, but my intelligence is not miniscule.
In the meantime I have Nashville. Fucking Nashville, baby. I cannot tell you how excited I am. But I will try.
I will spend some time completely immersed in the world I was born to live in. Music, music history, funky atmosphere, premium booze, good food, leisure - all enjoyed in the company of my lifelong friend Phil. My nerves scream out for this life saving elixir.
It is rare that what I do is perfectly in sync with who I am - happens every 30 years. When I step off that plane in Nashville I imagine peace will overwhelm me - every drop of poison will be sucked out of my body, to be replaced with joy and abandon.
Phil and I know ourselves - we are derelicts at heart. Give us premium booze, top shelf music performed by top shelf musicians, a funky venue and fun people - and we morph into insanity. Comes naturally to us.
So we made a pact. No drinking during the day. Gonna do touristy stuff - which has got to be super cool in Nashville. Tootsie's Orchid Lounge, the Ryman, Country Music Hall of Fame - are you fucking kidding me? If we get thirsty...................water. Gingerale. Anything but demon booze.
All bets are off at night. Classy bars, dive bars, fine dining, bar food - whatever the hell we are in the mood for in that moment is what it's gonna be. And when I am sitting in a funky bar with premium whiskey in my hand as soulful music washes over me - I will know who I am.
Hope the shock doesn't kill me.
Jesus, man - an extended vacation, a trip to Nashville - peace, reflection, joy, love (Carol, Emmy Lou and Patsy) - do I even deserve this?
Fuckin A Right I do.
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