how i SPEND my time

Time is precious to me now.

I don't have a lot of it left. The most important way for me to spend my time is with my sons and their women (I hate to use the word girlfriend - it sounds juvenile in this situation).

Carol and I spent Saturday with Keith and Krista. Know what we did? Spent time in Keith's apartment and talked. Went out to eat and talked. Came back to Keith's apartment and talked. There was a lot of laughter sprinkled throughout.

We don't see our sons as often as we'd like to. Not even close. That's life. Because they have lives. They don't spend part of every day wondering what Mommy and Daddy are up to. We accept that; it's just a natural part of life.

When we do get together I have noticed how simple it is to enjoy each other. The simple act of sharing a meal, of talking about whatever comes to mind, walking downtown, walking back, sitting, laughing.

We don't have to do anything. In fact, I have to re-phrase that - we did do something - we shared time together as a family. Shared time together.

If someone asked me and Carol to describe how our Saturday was, we would say "spectacular". And they would say "Really, what did you do? Go to a barbecue, a concert, the lake, a Fishercats game?"

And we would say "We visited Keith and Krista and went out for lunch."

That's it. That's all it takes to make our day spectacular.

When we got home, we talked about it. "Wow, what a comfortable day, what an enjoyable day, great lunch, nice walk, easy conversation." Because we appreciate it. We never take a minute with our family for granted.

I think we have always been that way but, for me, now - the feeling is amplified, and I am supremely conscious of it. We have been parents for 42 years and we are still in awe of our sons. That says as much about them as it does about us.

In the past couple of years I made the decision to travel to see our sons from time to time instead of summoning them to our house, as parents are wont to do (especially Italians). Of course they were summoned for decades, but whaddya gonna do? Learn, baby, learn.

It is satisfying to see them in their natural habitat. Visiting them where they live, enjoying their neighborhood, soaking in their life instead of imposing our own. It gives us a more complete picture of who our sons are and, always, more reason to appreciate and respect them.

Keith and Krista live in one of the more spectacular towns in NH. So picturesque, so much history, so much activity and peacefulness and beauty. Carol and I walk around like tourists, and absorb K&K's life through osmosis.

We spent Sunday night at a get-together of friends. Great meal in a beautiful setting by a creek in the woods. We enjoyed it. Really enjoyed it.

But at a lower level of intensity. 

When Carol and I are with our family, we are truly alive. With love and wonder and pride, satisfaction and peace.

That is how we prefer to spend our time.