In Addition....................

I want to take a deranged road trip, maybe with a couple of other lunatics.

We will drive. We'll drink and drive, and drive fast. Marijuana may be involved. The car will be old, beat up, but strong. Kind of like me.

Every  night that we stop along the way will be a mad adventure involving food and drink and borderline psychotics. We'll find casual restaurants with funky waitresses. We'll eat Mexican food and burgers and spaghetti. We'll drink wine and whiskey and beer.

Then it's off to the most insane bar we can find, preferably with live music and relaxed standards. To bed at 4 am, up at 1 pm, breakfast at 2, and then on the road again.

I want to have meaningless conversations, ridiculous arguments and a whole boatload of laughter. Peals and peals of laughter.

The most important piece of the whole trip will be that we spend some time - some extra time - in Arizona. Maybe a month.

I want to stay in Adobe-style rental houses and cheap motels. I want to eat pork and beef with plenty of red and green chiles. I want to eat huevos rancheros and tamales and Sonoran hot dogs. I will need plenty of ice cold beer and Dos Tierras Reposado tequila.

I will carry a jug of Xtra strength Tylenol with 1,000 tablets.

I will buy a pair of Abilene cowboy boots - black, none of that floral shit. I will crush scorpions with my new boots.

I will bask in the Arizona heat as it bakes into my bones until I am 100% convinced that I can never be cold anywhere on earth ever again under any circumstances.

Then we'll head home.

Wait - who am I kidding? Once I get a taste of Arizona........................

I will never leave.