January 3

What am I supposed to say on January 3, 2023?

Everyone is back to the grind. Hope is fading already as alarm clocks rule. Rudely.

I went to work yesterday. In vain. I asked my boss a week ago if we would be open on 1/02, to which he replied yes. After an hour yesterday he realized he was wrong - the place was closed. So I got to go home and still get paid for the day. A new year's gift.

This is how organizations involved with the arts work. No logic, no planning, no organization, no communication. The bottom line is not top of mind. Because the bottom line is subject to interpretation.

However I took a $6/hour cut in pay in January 0f 2022 to come back to this organization because it is human. It's loose. It's flexible. The city would punish me for one sneeze over the limit - you are only allowed 3 sneezes a shift. $20 to the enforcement kitty for sneeze #4. Fucking unbelievable. And the paperwork............................

That's not why I am here today.

The wheels are spinning. It's 2023. I'm not too worried. I'll figure it out. Enjoyed my faux day off yesterday which drifted into last night.

And Damar Hamlin. Heartbreaking. And tragic. 24 years old. Cardiac arrest on the field. Still in critical condition today.

The man was living his dream. After dedicating his life to the sport and working his ass off for the majority of his life. His dream could kill him. Or drastically reduce the quality of his life.

I do not know what to make of that. I don't like the message.

As I was watching the coverage, Martina Navratilova's name drifted across the ticker at the bottom - she was diagnosed with throat cancer and breast cancer.

Yesterday was January 2, 2023. Two days into a new year. People are trying to carry forward the beauty of the holidays and use it to improve their lives permanently. To make positive change.

But reality intruded like a huge and sight-blinding neon sign.

The message is obvious.

Do not ever believe that your dreams will protect you.  Still, you have to scrap and claw for every bit of happiness you can get your hands on.

And take love wherever you find it.

Which, most likely, is in the hearts of your immediate and precious family members.