Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Moment In Time

Woke up at 8:00 this morning. A raining, summer, Sunday morning.
Carol was asleep to my right, Maka was stretched out between us sound asleep, Lakota was sleeping to my left using my arm as a pillow.
The rain was gentle and it was comfortably warm so I laid there for a while.
Listening to my wife breathe, listening to the cats breathe, marvelling at the simple beauty and peace of that moment.
I don't normally like to lie in bed because of course I am driven to make a life. Gotta get up, gotta do, gotta try, gotta make up for lost time.
In a way it is ironic because I used to be content with wasting time when I had time to waste. I used to view days off as a release from torture and rationalized that I was justified in sitting around doing absolutely nothing.
Now when I have time off I keep moving, keep doing, I am not happy unless I am doing things that convince me I am trying to improve my life. Even if, at times, I am being delusional.
This morning felt like a gift. Everything about it was in sync with how things are supposed to be. There was love in that room, even if it was asleep. There was trust, there was familiarity. There was safety. There was that five letter word that means everything - peace.
No matter how the rest of today goes, I doubt anything about it will approach the beauty of that moment.
That is life.
I am lucky to have this wife and those cats and that bed and this day. I have become smart enough to realize that, to appreciate it and to be grateful.
As I was writing this, Carol walked by the room and commented on how peaceful the morning is. How comfortable she was in bed and how she had taken some time to lie there and enjoy it. It is a warm feeling to share the same thought.
I have no doubt that the cats feel the same way.
In Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams is talking about his wife who has been dead for two years, talking about how its the little things he remembers about her, that those are the things that made her his wife. He specifically talks about her farting when she was nervous, farting in her sleep, which I always had a hard time imagining as romantic.
But what I got out of that is that life truly is made up of small moments. That those small moments make up a life.
This morning was a small moment that was really a huge moment. Because Carol and I and Maka and Lakota were all tuned into it, and Carol and I commented on the beauty of it to each other.
Today is a good day. Today is a great day.
Today is a day in my life for which I am grateful.

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