Guess What?

Nobody over the age of ten should be allowed to use the phrase guess what.
It sounds juvenile.
When an adult uses it I shudder. There is a journalist on MSNBC who uses it a lot. He frightens me.
I might cut you some slack if you begin a sentence that way.
"Guess what?" "What?" "I just won 18 million dollars in the lottery and I am not giving you one thin dime." "Drop dead."
Even then I am not sure. It still makes me cringe.
I really hate when it is stuck in the middle of a conversation. You make a bunch of points, then hit me with the guess what?
I don't want to guess what. Just f***ing tell me.
I drove a special ed kid back and forth to school for a while. A close friend of Carol's bailed me out with a job when we were desperate, for which we are forever grateful.
Anyway it was just me and him alone in a van for a 45 minute ride each way. Despite the fact that I had been warned the kid was difficult, he opened up to me and talked to me. A lot.
Kids and animals dig me because I have no agendas. Unlike most of the "adults" I know. But that's a story for another place and time.
This kid started every sentence with guess what. "Joe - guess what?" "What?" " My father this, my father that." "Joe - guess what?" "What?" "My mother this, my mother that." "Joe - guess what?" "What?" "My dog this, my dog that."
My favorite one was when he told me he planned to open a museum when he grew up. But it would be a different kind of museum. It would only have animals like spiders and snakes in it.
Pretty cool.
The point is, he started every sentence with guess what and I didn't mind. It made perfect sense.
He was about six or seven.
My ultimate goal is to become King of the World.
If I ever get there, guess what?
There will be hell to pay for the guess what adults.