Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Only Fools Are Happy

Feeling a little raw.

Dialed up Not Dark Yet, and Things Have Changed by Bob Dylan.

His music has been darker in the last ten years, a little more accessible, got more of a blues feel to it, more of a life feel to it.

From Not Dark Yet:

"Well my sense of humanity
Is goin' down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing
There's been some kind of pain

I just don't see
Why I should even care
It's not dark yet
But it's gettin' there

I've been down on the bottom
Of a whirlpool of lies
I ain't lookin' for nothin'
In anyone's eyes

Sometimes my burden
Is more than I can bear
It's not dark yet
But it's gettin' there"


Nothing dishonest here, nothing that is too surreal to understand. Nothing to be avoided either. A taste of reality. Beauty and pain. Pablo Picasso said "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." You don't get one without the other.
Not expecting anything from anyone after too many lies.
A sense of what is coming.
It's not dark yet but................


From Things Have Changed:

"I've been trying to get as far away from myself as I can
Some things are too hot to touch
The human mind can only stand so much
You can't win with a losing hand

I hurt easy, I just don't show it
You can hurt someone and not even know it
The next sixty seconds could be like an eternity

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed"


Feeling like your own worst enemy. Trying to get away from that. Hurting easy and hiding it.
No empathy, no awareness of consequences.
Sensory and emotional overload.
Can't care anymore. Just can't do it.

Only fools are happy all the time.
These things are real. Just a part of the deal. You can try to let them pass through you if you are that good but I'm pretty sure they will leave a scar. Maybe it's better to face them dead on. Feel them, lose yourself in the pain and doubt, the deception, the dark side of the light side, overwhelmed.
And then move on.
From time to time. No need to dwell there. Take what you need, take what you can stand, put your head down and move forward.
Be human instead of just playing the part.

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