Monday, May 6, 2013

Eight Minutes

It is a lot easier to live superficially than to dig deep.

Living superficially requires killing pain. Ignoring the truth. Pretending.

Most of us do that. No blame there. It is a hard life.

You are born with a psychic contract, an unspoken feel for what life has to offer. But the contract is not executed in writing. It is not a legal document. What is written, is written ethereally in fine print.

Digging deep uncovers pain. Mines it like a precious metal. It also uncovers confusion. Questions are asked, leading to more and more questions. The answers don't come or are hard to decipher. Like reading the bible or listening to Ozzie Osbourne speak. You know there is something there but you are not quite sure what it is.

Life is this thing, both precious and maddening. You know exactly where you are headed. In fact the only thing you are sure of, the only definite in your life, is that every day brings you closer to your death. You can't count on being happy, you can't count on being healthy, you can't count on being employed, you can't count on being loved.

But you do know at the end of today that you are one day closer to the end of your life.

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

The irony is that an answer is not guaranteed in the examining. Maybe it's the "life is a journey not a destination" thing. Maybe the value is in the examining. If you arrive at conclusions, than so much the better.

I am a warped mix of the spiritual and the pragmatic. I observe my life through a mystical lens but I want concrete answers. Every time I drive by a cemetery, I raise my hand in a beckoning manner, inviting the deceased to share their knowledge with me.

They never do.

What are the right questions to ask? And does the process have to be incremental?

At this point, I am looking for a massive blast of an answer. Something so big and so clarifying that I will suddenly just be. No more anxiety, no more worry.

Peace of mind. Peace of life.

You can miss a lot of barbecues through self examination. Miss a lot of episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Statistics show you get 8 quality minutes a day after working, shopping, and fretting. 8 minutes you can call your own.

Should you spend them charring flesh? Or examining your life.

I don't know the answer.

No comments:

Post a Comment