What Else Can I Do?

I am tuned in like a laser beam to spring this year.

Every day on my way in to work I look up at the trees, at the buds and watch them progressing. Look at the streams I pass, the graveyards, roll the windows down whenever possible to feel the wind and dig on the clarity.

When the glass is removed between me and the world I marvel at the detail, the focus, the dazzle.

I look up, I look to the side, I look at trees, I look at animals. I cannot believe I haven't gone off the road. Of course there is still hope.

The intensity of my focus is knowing that if I remain trapped in this job, there is a very excellent chance spring and summer will blow by unappreciated. Because of the stress. Because of the schedule.

I also believe this is the job that will kill me. If I try to stick this out for a year or two, my toes will ending up pointing towards that beautiful, hopeful blue, boundless sky I have been digging.

But I am fighting back. I refuse to get glassy eyed and apathetic. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed spring as much. When summer washes over me I will take what ever little pieces of joy I can from it.

What else can I do?