Keith

My son Keith was born on May 3, 1980.

I have told this story a thousand times, but I will tell it again because it is mine to tell. He was born early a.m., maybe around 3-ish, 4-ish. I could be wrong. I'm not good with the details. I'm better with the emotions.

I left the hospital around 5:30 or 6:00 a.m and remember literally bounding down the steps into a glorious and beautiful day. Just like today. It was a magnificent May day, already very warm, Spring beauty assaulting the senses, and me with my first kid.

I went home to an empty house so wound up, so excited, I had no clue what to do. I knew I could not go to bed. I grabbed a beer and put on Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder. Sorry about the gender thing Keith. I would have listened to Beautiful Boy by John Lennon but it wasn't released until December of that year.

Isn't She Lovely came closest to expressing what I was feeling. The love, the wonder, the excitement, the joy.

In 33 years my son has never disappointed those feelings. Never.

I listened to the song over and over again.

The weather of two days ago got me thinking about this, making the weather connection. Wednesday was gorgeous and I had the day off. When I went outside, my senses immediately went to the day of Keith's birth. I hoped today would be glorious too so I could write honestly. It is and I am.

As a kid, Keith was a little testy. He hated to lose, had a bit of a temper, and our games in the back yard with Craig got a little tense sometimes.

At some point, he decided he did not want to be that way any more. So he just changed. I remember when he told me that how blown away I was. I have been trying to just change for decades and failed.

This is the wonder of being a parent. Learning from your kids. Being inspired by them. Looking at them and recognizing that in some ways they are better than you.

Somehow Keith has figured out how to mix and balance intensity with Zen. His approach to life is laid back. He doesn't let stuff get to him. Despite his continuous attempts to tutor his father I let everything get to me. He is laid back but competitive, confidant and strong. Best of all he laughs a lot and makes me laugh with him.

I have had many magnificent moments with my son, full of happiness, pride, sensitivity and honesty and I will have many more.

This is the gift Keith gives to me. A gift unsurpassed, a gift that cannot be bettered.

My kids don't owe me a damn thing. That's not the way the deal works. You shock them into the world, do the best you can when they are young and pliable, then sit back and hope for the best.

Some kids grow up to add nothing to the world. Some grow up to hurt their parents.

Keith is that amazing mutation of humanity whose life makes the world a better place. He touches people positively. My head swells to the size of a watermelon whenever one of my friends meets him and tells me that I have a hell of a kid. I have a close friend who lives near Keith, runs into him from time to time. He goes out of his way to tell me how impressed he is with Keith. And he has had only brief conversations with him. That says a lot.

That same friend is celebrating the birth of his second grandson today. When I told him the grandson would be sharing Keith's birthday, he thought that was pretty cool.

Keith has affected me enormously. It is not an exaggeration to say that when I am around him I feel the same intensity of love, the same chest bursting pride, the same anticipation and wonder that I felt on May 3, 1980.

If you doubt that, then you don't know me. And you don't know Keith.

Keith is 33 years old today. I am not comfortable with that fact. Because I am 59. I don't like where this is headed. When he was born, I could imagine him as a little boy, could imagine him going to school, could imagine him learning to ride a bike, learning to drive.

I could not imagine him being 33.

The beauty comes in recognizing that Keith has given me 33 years of pure love, pure pride, pure emotion. He has made me feel alive for 33 years of my own life. The only other person in the world who has given me more is Carol. Craig is logged in at 29 and still counting.

Happy Birthday, kid. I will be thinking about you all day today. Every time I sneak out of the store to stand in the sun, I will be bounding down the steps of that hospital again.

I had no clue those steps would lead to 2013. And beyond. But you have made the passing of those years joyful. You keep me alive. You challenge me to get better. And to let go and lighten up.

I love you with all my heart, all my soul, all my being. It frustrates me to know the words do not exist for me to adequately express the true intensity of my love and admiration for you.

And me, a word guy.

I gave it my best shot.