Monday, May 27, 2013

Praying Mantis

Stay away from the Praying Mantis, man. It is a monster.

I learned that from Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy.

This monster has praying in its name, but it ain't even close to being holy. In fact it is evil, wicked, mean and nasty (don't step on the grass,Sam - line courtesy of Steppenwolf).

Praying because its front legs are bent and held together in a position that suggests prayer. Kind of like the Devil wearing a halo.

They have triangular heads on a long neck and they can rotate their heads 180 degrees, so they got that Linda Blair thing going on. And they are really ugly. I never really paid attention before but they are scary, ugly.

They have two large compound eyes, and three simple eyes located between them.

I have two eyes and I regularly see The Devil and 9 legged dwarfs. With three more eyes I would be screaming in horror every time I woke up.

Oh, wait - I already do that.

They are typically green or brown and well camouflaged on the plants among which they live, so they lie in ambush or patiently stalk their quarry. Got another element of creepiness. They are not racing around hunting in a manly way, they are lurking to deliver death.

Their front legs move so quick it is difficult to see with the naked eye, and the legs are further equipped with spikes for snaring prey and pinning it in place.

They eat moths, crickets, grasshoppers, flies and other insects but they also eat others of their own kind.

Famously, the adult female sometimes eats her mate just after mating. This I knew, but I did not know they sometimes eat their mate during mating.

After mating doesn't seem so bad. Not a bad way to go, to head heavenward after a torrid love making session.

But during mating seems the ultimate cruelty. Either way this behavior is an excellent clue into the nature of the female gender in general.

Ironically enough, this screw and kill behavior seems not to deter males from reproduction.

This is an excellent clue into the nature of the male gender in general.

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