Oh, Tony

His face was rough when I kissed it.
He hadn't shaved.
I think, when my brother called me,
I procrastinated.
I don't know.
I don't make good decisions, backed into
corners where selfishness is exposed.
And my memory is flawed.
Egocentric pain is easily recalled;
substantive memories fogged over.
By the time we got there, he was tucked away.
I asked to see him and
was told I could not.
I demanded to see him and
was told I could not.
I was furious.
The caretaker had his version of death,
I had mine.
Angrily, I made my intentions clear and
was finally brought out back to the storage area.
The bag was unzipped, I looked at my father
and my tears fell down upon him
as they hadn't since I was a child.
I  needed to see my father before they turned him to wax.
I needed that.
His face was rough when I kissed it.
He hadn't shaved.
I'll never forget that kiss.