Ain't Got No Christmas Spirit..............(????????????)

Ain't got no Christmas spirit.

At least up until yesterday. I was feeling completely dead about it. Felt nothing at all and didn't care.

We didn't have the tree up, no decorations, no nog on the lips. I was content to coast up to the big day, do the Christmas dance and move on.

In addition, Carol and I made The Big Decision. Screw the tree.

Every year we drag the damn thing up out of the basement and pretend to enjoy ourselves as we spend an hour putting it together and decorating it, when truthfully it was just a pain in the ass.

Then a couple of weeks later you gotta break it all down.

For what? No more little kids to dig on it, no more 2,000 presents under the tree. The only people the tree benefited was the cats. Lakota liked to sleep under it, Maka liked to climb up on and/or play with the branches and baubles. And frankly, the cats are easily entertained with little fake cloth mice that don't even move. Why the hell go through the effort to put up a tree?

Truthfully, I did enjoy meditating on the tree lights. Recliner bound, drink in hand, lights in eyes, thoughts in head. Those were always peaceful/depressing/reflective/sad/happy/throwing in the towel/gonna make something of my life moments. I dug it. Really dug it.

We didn't go hard core no tree though. Decided to go with a small one that we can put on a table.

So while I was suffering like a beat down dog at The Asylum last night, Carol went itty bitty tree shopping and came through like she always does.

Went I crawled home there it was sitting on the table next to the television machine - lit up, decorated, and looking perky. Directly opposite my recliner.

And best of all Carol said it took her four minutes to put up. FOUR.

I was instantaneously pleased. I won't say I got Christmas spirit. I don't know what Christmas spirit is. It should be feelings of love for my fellow man but there ain't no way that's gonna happen. Human beings are regressing at an exponentially increasing rate.

We suck.

The tree sparks reflection in me. That's what Christmas spirit is to me. Maybe because it only happens once a year, maybe because things are suddenly different for a few weeks, the change in vibration, the change in the air plugs into my brain and triggers pensivity. Is that a word? If not, I made it up. I have earned the right.

I like this little tree. I love it. And I will get to christen it with my thoughts appropriately tonight. Tuesday is bowling night. I will be alone for exactly 1 hour and a half hours.  Used to be I could be alone for four hours on bowling night. That is just one more thing this fucking job has taken from me.

But I will have that 90 minutes to gaze at the lights and look into my brain. Better than nothing.

If I come up with anything extraordinary, you will surely hear about it tomorrow.