"The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live."
George Carlin
"Happy, Happy Christmas that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home."
Charles Dickens
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
Phyllis Diller
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Jay Leno
"Moving between the legs of tables and of chairs, rising or falling, grasping at kisses and toys, advancing boldly, sudden to take alarm, retreating to the corner of arm and knee, eager to be reassured, taking pleasure in the fragrant brilliance of the Christmas tree."
T.S. Eliot
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