No Tomorrow

I no longer feel I have a tomorrow in my life.

I heard a meaningless marketing term in a commercial - "own your tomorrow." I think it was one of those commercials where you have a couple who already have money, sitting pretentiously in their financial adviser's office, wondering what to do with all their excess wealth.

An ad that connects with 1/2 of 1% of the population of this country. The rest of us sit in the Mortgage Vampire's office, squirming, explaining unconvincingly how we are going to catch up on being three months in arrears.

But I digress.

For some reason the tomorrow thing really slapped me across the mouth. It has a lot to do with the unlimited thoughts and impressions and concerns and realities that have been coursing through my brain over the last few months.

Three days from 60. I am three days away from 60.

I no longer have a tomorrow. I have only a today.

I have backed myself into this corner. You have heard it all. The whining, the anguish, the confusion. You choke on it over your Wheaties in the morning.

"Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead. But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change."

Hmmmmmmmmmmm..............................

How can a sixty year old have a tomorrow? I have only a today and a today and another today.

Courses must be departed from.

There is no time left for whining, anguish and confusion.

An ominous realization.

Every day has to be TODAY! The pressure is enormous to negotiate change immediately, especially considering health concerns and employment idiocy.

And age.

It would be dangerous to smile upon tomorrow's potential when today finds me a walking time bomb.

There is no comfort in tomorrow.

Because whatever tomorrow is, it is tiny compared to what the past has been.

These are just thoughts.

Thoughts I am thinking today.

I hope I derive some benefit from them.