I continue to feel supreme.
It has been building for months and has culminated in something typically recognized as HOPE.
During the summer of 2021 I reconnected with my five closest friends from high school. Bobby, Jimmy, Ed, Barry and Dave. We met (minus Dave) at Jimmy's new home, which just happens to be 30 minutes from my own.
My heart was wide open, and I appreciated that get together with a laser focus for exactly what it meant. We talked, laughed, reminisced - and agreed to get together again soon.
On my birthday, every single one of them texted me. Dave and Jim called me. It meant so much to me.
In September, Carol and I brought Emmy Lou and Patsy into our home. These cats have stolen our hearts. And made us laugh and smile and hug them and kiss them. They are the sweetest, craziest, most loving cats in the history of the feline world.
Every night Patsy curls up in my lap, Emmy Lou in Carol's. Our nights could not be more comforting.
Christmas day was spectacular. We got the whole family together for the first time since this covid bullshit began. We came close during the summer - we met at my brother's house but Amanda - Craig's fiance - could not make it. She was working. She works her ass off. She's a sweetheart.
But on Christmas day we pulled it off. At Craig & Amanda's brand new home. They entertained the family for the first time and did an amazing job.
Carol and I kept looking around, taking it all in. We were like a man who has crawled 185 miles through the desert, collapsed from exhaustion ready to die - only to find his face planted in a magical spring of cool, clear water.
A small thing - I got new lenses in my eyeglasses on 12/30. As a result of my first eye checkup in seven years. I'm old. My body is deteriorating. My eyesight was worse than I realized.
The first day I sat down with a book in my lap was hilarious. I put the book where I would normally place it in my lap - and things were a bit fuzzy. I was pissed - they fucked up. Then I moved the book closer and it was crystal clear. Feels like we got a new TV. It's so goddamn clear I feel like I am looking through it straight to reality.
I went for the full boat. Transitions sunglass shit, ant-glare for night driving. Night driving has been weird for a while - headlight glare really throws me off. Not any more. As I was driving home I was staring right into oncoming headlights and I was fine.
Again, seems like a small thing, but I am seeing everything with crystal clear clarity. Seems like a metaphor.
I got a new job. Started yesterday. Hugs all around. I have reconnected with people I took for granted last time around. My kind of people. Sensitive, artsy types. Empathy all around. So many of them told me they had missed me and were truly happy to have me back.
I am happy. A new beginning in a new year. It doesn't get any better than that.
A revelation - my high school friends, Christmas day, the new job - these very human things have re-wired my brain. I am beginning to think I have more to offer than I have ever given myself credit for.
Overall, I feel so good that I am astonished. Holy Shit - what have I been missing? Are humans allowed to feel this way? Is this the way it is supposed to be?
You bet your ass it is.
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