Man of the Year Award

I want to give myself the Man of the Year Award on 12/31/2022.

I want to push and excel and succeed and change in recognizable ways. I am primed to do this - I have laid the groundwork. My eyes are wide open and my will is strong.

"I will be the best man I possibly can" - Duane Allman. A very simple statement but very hard to live up to. Because progress is made up of many little moments and opportunities. You gotta rack up consistent small victories until "being the best man I possibly can" becomes a way of life.

This is right in line with James Clear's philosophy of becoming successful in life. I believe in this philosophy. Small, consistent victories.

I already blew an opportunity in 2022. On the night of January 5 - five days into the fucking new year, for Christ sake. You don't need the details, but I had the opportunity to be a bigger man and I did not come through. The good things is I immediately recognized my failure - I felt it. I immediately regretted it.

That means my brain is actually working - it is doing this thing called thinking. I am moving along a continuum of change. More slowly than I'd like, experiencing more setbacks than progress, but I am exerting force of will. Breaking down barriers to change that I have erected over 6 decades.

A formidable challenge, but not insurmountable.

The Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award is considered the league's most prestigious honor. It recognizes players who have "exhibited excellence on the field, and whose passion to impact lives extends beyond the game."

That perfectly sums up what I am shooting for.

I want to be the best employee the Capitol Center for the Arts has ever seen. I want to excel at my job. I also want to impact the lives of Carol and Keith and Craig by changing myself and my own life. The changes I make will change how we interact with each other, which can change their lives.

I really think I can pull this off this year.

It's a really big goal, but I have a serious leg up by virtue of the fact that I am happy. I have shed 2 tons of anger and hatred and frustration. I am thinking more clearly.

I am nimble.

And inspired.