A Death In The Family

Wrapped this baby up yesterday.

It was not what I expected. It was deeper and emotional.

It revolves around the death of Jay Follet. 36 year old father and husband. He is called away to what is expected to be his own father's death bed. Turns out the guy doesn't die, Jay turns around to go home and on the way is killed instantly in a car accident.

I thought the story would be about where his family goes from there. Instead the story focused on the day of his death, the wake and the funeral.

It exposes the raw emotion of his wife and his kids, the empty feeling of not understanding and not believing that this is happening. Much of the story is told from the point of view of Rufus, his six year old son, who barely understands what is going on and who has so much confusion and so many questions in his head.

You get some perspective from Follet's daughter Catherine, who is even younger than his son.

They watch their mother suffer and don't know what to do.

As the family gathers on the night of the death, the reader is exposed to thoughts these people are thinking but not saying. Hurtful things, petty things, as well as grief and shock.

You see people reacting appropriately and inappropriately. Agee (the author) paints an accurate picture of how hard it is to comfort someone experiencing death, how people don't know what to do or say, but still try. And end up saying things that come across as cold.

Comments are misunderstood and misinterpreted because emotions are overwhelming.

What goes through the mind of Mary, Jay's wife, and Rufus and Catherine is raw - so painful, so shocked, so uncomprehending that it rips you apart.

I am not doing the book any justice here. You gotta read it to feel it.

When you do, you realize how accurate it is in describing grief, in all it's unrealities and inconsistencies.