Eight A.M. Whiskey

If you enjoy an eight a.m.shot of whiskey before you set off to work, you have declared your independence from society and I salute you.
Social guidelines are generally silly, and the one about not having a drink before noon is especially so. What are you kidding me? Booze is medicine, and medicine is what is required to negotiate your way through life. If you wake up with a cold, you don't wait until noon to guzzle your Nyquil.
We taped the Ken Burns documentary on prohibition and I can't wait to watch it. That was the most misguided attempt at controlloing the general populace ever conceived.
People need their booze, it's the only legal drug you can openly consume, unless you have a laid back, forward thinking physician writing you prescriptions on demand. Everybody needs a Dr. Feelgood. Having spent the last five and a half years behind a bar, and the last year at The Booze Emporium, I am consistently overjoyed to see people embracing their love of the sauce. Openly, unabashedly and with great vigor.
True drinkers understand that there are no rules; do whatever works for you in whatever combination works for you, at whatever strength, and whenever you decide you need it.
When I first started working at the legion, the bar opened at 9:00 a.m. Friends, relatives and acquaintances were shocked when I told them this. "You mean people actually drink at 9 in the morning?"  Of course they do; it's a great way to start your day and gain some valuable perspective on life. I loved serving drinks that early; felt like I was in some alternative universe or parallel dimension, a subset of humanity that lived by their own rules. My kind of people.
Here's the way I look at it. If you need an early morning shot to get your juices flowing, to get ready to face the world or just to get your energy level up to par, do it with abandon and sweet release. If you start with an 8:00 a.m. shot and continue drinking throughout the day (frequent furtive trips to the bathroom at work, nips in your pockets) then you have a problem. This I am not condoning.
But a shot of whiskey with your eggs in the morning is delightful. I was recently taken aback by my own strangeness, but I quickly adapted and found it quite amusing. I am on a health/losing weight kick, so I have been experimenting with my diet. Had a cup of yogurt for breakfast, followed shortly thereafter by a shot of whiskey. At first I thought "What the hell am I doing?" But it felt so natural that I knew it was the right thing to do. I should write a diet book; I am willing to bet that I could find a large number of devotees.
The psychological aspect is almost as rewarding as the physical. You set yourself apart as a rebel, a rule breaker, a rugged individualist when you consume early morning booze. You are thumbing your nose at society's arbitrary rules and setting a wonderful example for your children.
We all have to conform to get through the day. Individuality is not condoned or rewarded in the work place. But conformity is not natural. We are all born individuals who are then shaped, molded and intimidated into conforming for the sake of society. You have to do whatever you can to re-capture a tiny piece of your soul. I suppose you could go for a 5:00 a.m. jog, but it takes a hell of a lot less effort to raise a shot glass.
Side note: I cannot drink beer in the morning, my body rejects it. But if you were standing next to my bed as I awakened, with a delicate crystal tumbler holding a touch of civilized whiskey, I would consume it appreciatively, then stumble off to brush my teeth.
Do what you gotta do, folks. Life is way too short to live by other people's rules. Enjoy your vices with extreme prejudice, but try not to allow them to control you. Early morning moderation is sensible. You can go nuts when the whistle blows at 5:00 o'clock.