My cats are the most adorable, loving and lovable animals in the entire recorded history of pets. I get to spend a lot of mornings with them and random days off when it is just me and them. I pet or pat them (which is it?), hold them and kiss them on the top of their little heads.
When they want love, they ask for it. Rub up against my legs, jump up on the desk and harass me when I'm writing, crawl into my lap in the recliner. Humans could learn a lesson. We need love as much, if not more than they do. But we are afraid to ask for it or go get it. We are repressed. Our souls grow cold as we play the part of happy idiots struggling for the legal tender. Next time you need love, get down on your hands and knees and rub up against somebody's legs. Let me know how that goes.
As I explore the depth of my love for these precious animals it reminds me of a dark time in Testa pet ownership.
Carol and I had three cats early in our life, maybe even before the kids were born. My memory is about as reliable as a Jaguar. Bandit was our first pet. We stole him. In the first year of our marriage we lived in Dracut, MA. People across the street owned Bandit, who was a kitten. They left him outside all the time. He was dirty, alone, cold and downhearted. One day when nobody was around we scooped him up and brought him into our apartment. Suddenly he was abundantly loved, warm and happy.
Lucifer was next. I wanted a black cat so we bought him at a pet store. The first and last pet we acquired that way. He was an asshole. Unapproachable, unloving.
Nugget was next. We were on a beach somewhere in the world (there's that Jaguar thing again) and some kids had some kittens in a box. Nugget was tiny and adorable - we made him ours.
I had an asthma attack one day that sent me to the hospital. They blamed it on allergies. I decided we had to get rid of the cats. I was colder then, less sensitive, more selfish. I told Carol the cats had to go; didn't give her a choice. I dropped them off at a shelter that does not kill cats if they are not adopted. We came home to an empty house.
I cannot imagine Carol's pain. If the roles were reversed today I could not handle it. Maka and Lakota give me pure joy every single day. I love them and cannot live without them. Carol felt the same way about Bandit, Lucifer and Nugget and yet I ripped them out of her life.
I have come a long way since then. I understand the beauty of pets in my soul. I want pets always and forever. They bring an awareness into your life that softens you and makes it possible for you to understand there is a lot more to life than soul crushing jobs and ego destroying paychecks.
I don't know if I have ever said this before. Carol, I am sorry for taking our pets away from you and I am sorry for the tears and pain that caused.
As usual, you stuck with me despite stupidity and selfishness. Maka and Lakota are the ultimate reward. Our relationship with them is deeper and more loving and intimate than with any of our previous pets. I hope this in some small way makes up for my insensitive decision.
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