Magic and Wonder

Winter could not defeat us.
Had a celebration of two birthdays yesterday despite being buried in 100 feet of snow. IN OCTOBER.
Overnight Saturday and into Sunday the get together was not a given. Keith and Emily had to get back from Washington, D.C. from a celebration of Emily's parents 40th wedding anniversary which, unfortunately, went horrible awry thanks to the goddamn weather.
My brother Ed had to make it up from that horrible state - Massachusetts, where he had no power, so it was particularly satisfying to be able to offer him warmth and food, and Craig and Karen had to escape from snow-pounded Keene.
Carol and I trudged out to begin digging out around 10:00 a.m.. Unbeknownst to me Carol had the phone in her pocket. She is infinitely more advanced than I in the common sense area. Of course I was blind angry and not thinking straight anyway, so its a good thing she was in charge. Before I realized she had the phone I heard her talking and thought I had finally pushed her over the edge.
Phone calls started coming in, and over the course of an hour the whole thing had come together. They were all going to be arriving in shifts between 1:00 and 5:00, but they would all be here, with an intersection of time when we were all together.
Amazing.
After one and a half hours of shovelling, we came in exhausted. At least I was. Carol is strong like bull. She then proceeded to put a lot of effort into assembling a fine dinner.
Family humans began to arrive and conversation and laughter commenced. It hit me with powerful force how magical family can be. We were all inconvenienced and pissed off at winter's lack of respect, tired from dealing with it, tired from travelling, and yet seven people came together in a small home in rural America and nothing else mattered.
The air felt supercharged to me. Something happens when we get together, and it seemed more intense given the circumstances. It is so natural that it feels unnatural. There are no games being played, no walls of self-defense, no phony-baloney words. Family gives you a chance to be purely human; at least my family does. Each of us shines our unique personality into the mix and what results is family.
Awesome dinner prepared by Carol, real conversation and genuine laughter around the table. I really enjoy that piece of the action. All sitting face to face more or less, and the interaction is free and easy. Makes me feel so safe. Keith and Emily were the last to arrive and chowed their dinner solo, but they oozed into the mix as we sat and "watched" football and racing, and all was right with the world. We focused like lasers when THE PATS played but that turned out to be painful.
The cats got a lot of love.
The day ended as inevitably it must and I am sitting here now alone in a silent house. I could crank up my Ipod machine but I don't want to, not just yet. The contrast between now and yesterday makes yesterday linger in beauty in my mind. I don't want to lose that until reality blows it all away. Elvis Costello - "Welcome to the working week. I know it don't thrill you, I hope it don't kill you. Welcome to the working week." That's how I am feeling right now. Work seems pointless to me today, meaningless. I will go through the motions because I have no other choice, but yesterday was living, today is surviving. And there is a very big difference.
I am obsessed with DOING something with my life, as opposed to just gliding through meaninglessly to the bitter end. It is hard work but well worth it. Family sits somewhere in the middle of wasting life and making a life, but it sits above and beyond these two contrasts like a fiery sun. Family is sweet release, natural love and mutual respect, it is humans being genuinely human, and it gives you fuel to go on. Thanksgiving is right down the road, the greatest holiday ever invented. I have a month to keep trying to improve myself and maybe I will have something cool to show to my family on that day. But if not, I know they will still accept me with all my imperfections and I will FEEL their love. No words needed. That's what blows me away. I felt love in this home yesterday, felt it like something tangible that I could hug and hold. What a gift. What a precious blast of living.