The prevailing wisdom is to put a good face on it. If you are down, really depressed, unhappy, completely lost, you are supposed to smile when you go to work, make jokes, pretend everything is OK.
I think this is bullshit.
I think it is unhealthy.
If your depression consumes you, go with it. It is natural. I'm not talking about snapping at people, being rude, attacking people. You have to find a way to function. Unfortunately there is no getting through the day without talking to people, which definitely sucks when you NEED to be left alone. Sometimes what your soul absolutely requires is that you make it through the day with no communication whatsoever. Because nobody can help you, nobody will understand you, and usually the best they can do is make ridiculously shallow attempts to cheer you up. Which only deepens the depression.
So be courteous, but do not waste your energy on pretending to be happy. Pretending to be happy creates conflict between your mind and your soul, confusing the whole situation and making you more miserable.
Our society is anti-honesty. You have to pretend to be tough, pretend to be happy, pretend that your life is good. Nobody wants honesty because nobody can handle it. For a huge majority of people, life is a grind and nothing more. Disappointment, dead dreams, financial embarrassment, a complete absence of fun.
If you get overwhelmed from time to time, get quiet. Stop pretending. Feel your depression, let it flow from your soul to your brain to your emotions. It is natural and you are human.
If somebody persists in trying to cheer you up, club them over the head and walk away in silent satisfaction.
Thank you for writing this. I've just started accepting my depression in this way and it's actually caused the depression to lose a lot of its power over me. I would have a bad moment and get very down, then I'd feel guilty about that and I'd feel down about feeling down. I say "down" because "sad" doesn't feel like the right word... Anyway, that would become a self-perpetuating cycle, i.e. being depressed about being depressed, and one I stayed to tell myself it's ok to be depressed, the cycle couldn't happen and I could actually get on with my day, even smile. So thank you for highlighting the importance of accepting one's own depression. It really is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
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