Reflection Part Two

I have been thinking deeply about my life. I have been thinking deeply about this blog.

The blog has become a part of me. I can't stay away from it. I tell myself that it is because I am trying to build a following and that writing erratically won't help that.

That is bullshit. The blog is one and a half years old now and my average daily hits are around 15. Sometimes 45, sometimes 2. Obviously I have not created a burning desire on the part of the blog reading public to read my words.

It is my blog, my words, my brain and my life. It is my fault that nobody reads it. If people found it compelling I would have been on Letterman by now.

For now I write for myself. It is the only place I can get as close to honest as a human can get. I air out my soul here and it makes me feel good.

The blog has an interesting (to me) history. I started it as My Brain Is Oatmeal because I felt it described my mental state at the time. Decided I didn't like that title, changed it to Booze And Blues, which  is closer to what I am all about. Found out there are 63 million blogs out there with that name so I went with Whiskey Wisdom, which I am comfortable with.

In the beginning, it was all about me whining about how horrible life is and especially how horrible my life was. At some point my son Keith, who  has an amazing zen-like approach to life, told me that he skipped over the really negative stuff and said nobody wants to read stuff like that.

Side note: I love the fact that I am at a point in my life, have been for years, where I learn from my sons. I did the Dad thing, did the best I could do, and now it often seems to me that they are wiser than me. Pretty cool.

Anyway at that point I made a concerted effort to write better. Less whining. Obviously I have not succeeded completely but I do believe I have changed.

Recently I started re-training my brain. Reading deeply of inspiring minds. For two reasons. To make me smarter, and to see that reflected in my writing.

It is a work in progress and one that I will continue because I believe in it. I am wrestling with evolving, with changing the way that I write and the things that I write about.

I got naked with my mind and tried to truthfully critique what is wrong with my writing.

I still whine a lot. Too much negativity. That is a waste of time and it is not good writing.

I swear a lot. I think it makes me look strong and passionate. It doesn't. It makes me come across as less intelligent than I am. Truth be told I use it for shock effect as well. That is immature.

I go off on rants about things that inspire me and talk about how that is how a life should be lived, that is what life is all about. I think that is disingenuous because I don't change my life to meet those loftier standards. If I write about it and forget about it, what is the point?

I talk a lot about what I want my life to be, how I want to live, what I want from myself, what I think life should be. But again I do not follow through. So the words are empty.

I am a passionate man. I want the passion of my writing focused to a laser point.

When I talked about my life previously, I admitted that changes have to be made but refused to name them. Those things are personal.

Here I am laying out my weaknesses right in front of you because that pushes me to rise to my own challenge.

In a way what I want from this blog in 2013 is to document my own progress as I force myself to evolve.

Not with empty promises, hopes, and dreams but with solid words carefully considered, and hopefully, with a telling of things I have accomplished.

Happy New Year to anyone who stumbles across my writing today.

May 2013 be The Year for all of us.