There Is No Magic (?)

It would be nice to have a clear line of demarcation between 2012 and 2013. But life doesn't work that way.

On December 30, our water heater crapped out. 2012 just had to have the last word. I despise that year and hope it rots in hell. We have been without hot water entering day three now. The water heater gods will be here tomorrow.

On December 30 I woke up with what I thought to be a cold. We visited Craig and Karen, and by the time we left I knew it was much more than that.

I woke up yesterday in sweat soaked clothes, I woke up today in sweat soaked clothes.

I started a tradition last year I named The Annual Joe Testa Birthday Bash And Open House. It was an attempt to make sure my birthday was not overlooked ever again. This is year two and the party has been cancelled due to illness.

As much as I wanted to wake up this morning - my birthday - to blazing change and energetic hope, I instead sit in a house with no hot water, no birthday celebration and I am physically pretty well punked out.

Not what you want from a fresh start.

My plan last night was to get home from work, eat steak and nap until midnight when Carol would wake me up for our wild celebration. We always stay up for the transition and I am glad we do. There is something there, there really is magic in that moment. Somehow I stayed awake for most of the night. Watched The Three Stooges Marathon during some of it.

Anyway I felt like crap but was glad to have celebrated in the coming of a new year.

Strange thing this morning. Standing in the kitchen shortly after seven, meditating to the Keurig drip, and I felt this determination. It was not a mind thing. It came from within and it came unbidded.

Surprised me. Because Carol and I have been savagely raped and beaten by 2012 and the poison has dripped over into 2013.

I don't know what it means but I do know it means something.

All this crap might seem like the end of the line. Apparently my spirit doesn't think so.

I love my birthday. I love the uniqueness of it. I will miss Craig and Karen and Keith and Emily and Edward and Paula and Bill today. Miss them deeply. Because I love them. And because if we do celebrate my birthday it won't be on my birthday, and that has become important to me.

But I have the best wife who has ever existed. Two magic cats. A recliner. College football. And an excuse to do absolutely nothing.

You gotta take what you can get.

P.S. - Happy Birthday to me. I am not a bad guy.