Dull Edged Bewilderment

The majority of humans live their lives into dull edged bewilderment.

Cruising along feeling like a shark. Making decisions, thinking they are in control.

Warning signs pop up but there is a naive confidence, an even more naive subconscious assumption of immortality, that takes the edge off the fear.

Suddenly you wake up and you are the dolphin tangled up in the shrimping net. Movement is restricted, escape is impossible and you are beginning to drown.

The net has been woven strand by strand, year by year, but it is gossamer thin and cannot be detected until it is beyond late.

It was the little things, the small mistakes, the bad decisions, the non decisions, the hubris and the fear that did the weaving.

You could not possibly know that all these little things were interconnected. That they would accumulate over time, gain strength in their unity and conspire to drown you.

When the realization dawns, viciously, and you become the dolphin in the shrimping net, your mind blows smoke in the unfairness of not understanding why, even as it fully comprehends the finality of the what.