Sadnes As A Reality Check

Sadness is a reality check.

It lets you know your life is off track. It slaps you awake to the reality that life can be harsh and unpredictable. It reminds you that death lurks out there at the end of the road, that death will take away loved ones and eventually death will take away your own life.

I am beginning to think that sadness is the only accurate life signpost.

Happiness seems to be more transient. I have noticed that happiness does not spread, it does not take root and redirect my life.

I can be happy about just about anything. Feeling good about little things, big things, meaningful things and meaningless things.

Inevitably anxiety returns. Worries, pressures, distractions.

Happiness goes away.

I am not really sure what happiness is. You can fake happiness. So many people do.

The whole mindset of presenting a positive front to the world annoys me. People who give you over the top exuberance to a simple question like "How you doin'?"

You don't have to walk with shoulders hunched and gloom haunting your aura, just be honest with your emotions.

If you are happy, go with it and be thankful. If not, tone it down a little. You are not fooling anybody.

Everybody gets sad. I think people are sad more often than happy. I appreciate people who can admit to this.

It's called being real.

Reality check sadness is the bone deep kind. Brought on by death. Brought on by disaster. Brought on by hearts and souls jolted rudely out of blinding misconceptions.

I am deeply sad right now. It won't go away. It is making me think.

Happiness doesn't make me think, other than to wallow in the good feeling, to try to stay in that moment and milk it for all it's worth.

This thing, this sadness, is making me think about life in a way that I would prefer to avoid but cannot.

This sadness won't allow it.

The depth of the thing keeps blind siding me. My mind brings it back around unannounced. A conversation with my brother or Carol can stimulate tears.

I have thought about Jonathan and Sarge over and over again. I cannot stop it. The tears keep coming.

I am only the brother, the husband. My sadness is infinitely removed from the heart of the thing.

Yet it consumes me.

This sadness is the thing that leads to an understanding of true life. It brings perspective.

It has me thinking about my own life. It has me thinking - hard - about the people in my life who are my life.

The trick is to dig happiness when you have it. And to deal with sadness when it comes around.

Burying it accomplishes nothing.

Read the sadness for what it is and react accordingly. Don't just accept it.

Bone deep sadness is your mind trying to tell you something.

Don't ignore it.