The Grind

Back officially to the grind tomorrow.

Have only worked 4 days since December 16. Had already committed to four days off for Christmas and four more for New Year's. I am lucky to have that option.

Got the call about Sarge on 12/17 and Jonathan on 12/18. So we ended up taking some additional time, time we wish with every fiber of our being that we did not have a reason to take off.

Carol has worked three days since December 16.

This week brings about what some would call a return to normalcy.

It is not.

It may be the new normal, a normal without Jonathan and without Sarge, but it will be anything but normal. There is no normal anymore.

In a fascinating twist of fate, I go back tomorrow for inventory. Inventory in a liquor store is a hideous thing.

We got a lot of bottles.

It is typically a 12 hour, incredibly tedious day, with me returning home somewhere between midnight and 1:00 a.m.

Whereupon I will consume an ice cold bottle of beer and a generous helping of whiskey.

Should be interesting. I am typically short of patience on inventory day as it is. This time around, I am in absolutely no mood to deal with such a meaningless waste of my time.

Could be fisticuffs.

Carol's day will be no easier. Back to administrative nightmares and inconsiderate co-workers. The woman is a rock and amazingly organized and on top of everything about her job.

But I think when you get right down to it, she is not much more fond of her job than I am of mine.

No different than you and everyone you know.

So here we go. Back to something we both gotta do even though we are broken inside.

Just like Cori and Ed and Kathy have probably already done.

When January 2 rolls around, it can be a real slap in the face. You dug Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Hopefully there was a lot of magic there.

And hope.

Suddenly it is 01/02 and you feel cold, challenged, a little lost. Desperately seeking newness and change. Not wanting the new year to be a bland continuation of the old year.

So there is that, and for my family and my extended family, there is the memory of Jonathan and the memory of Sarge.

There are jobs and bills and deadlines and commitments.

I don't think 2015 is going to fall into place like every other year. In fact I know it.

Too much has been lost.

We will make the best of it that we can.

It all starts for real tomorrow.