Thursday, June 30, 2016

One Last & Glorious Day of Unfettered Freedom

Today is my last day of complete release.

I begin the new part time job tomorrow. Five hours. Noon to 5:00. Then I have Saturday, Sunday and Monday off.


I have been out of work one month today. One month.

Without a doubt one of the most amazing months of my life. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and how I wanted to do it.

I sat in the sun, man - I sat in the sun and reflected. At least on those June days that did not feel like January.

I am physically and mentally relaxed. I even got smarter, although you would never know it.

Keith and Emily gave me an Amazon gift card for Fathers Day. I used it to buy magic. Keith Richards' latest solo album, "Crosseyed Heart", and a Crosby/Nash album from 2004.

Got Cros and Nash on right now. They make exquisitely beautiful music together. It is a perfect sound track for this day.

I sit here grateful for this month I just had ("I'm feeling pretty good about myself" - Cros and Nash just sang that as I was writing - tell me there is no synchronicity in this world - I am feeling better about myself right now than I have in decades), I sit here grateful for the position that I am in - retired with a new life and a new world in front of me.

It has begun. I read a lot, I studied, I thought, I listened to music, I exercised, I took excellent care of my loving wife - I allowed my soul to heal and then set about writing a blueprint for change.

I am not melancholy today.

Tomorrow begins a new chapter and I am ready. I work Tuesday through Friday five hours a day. Three day weekends every weekend. I don't have to be in to work until 1:45 every day. Leaves me mornings to continue chipping away at myself. This is not overwhelming. It will force me to focus a little more on what I want to get done.

Today is gorgeous. I am listening to gorgeous music. I feel light. I have felt light for a full month now.

I have thought a lot about who I am, the good parts and the bad parts. The "good" thing alone signals a major shift in thinking and awareness - I usually focus on the bad. I have a lot of good qualities, a lot of great qualities, qualities that draw people to me, qualities unique to me that will allow me to contribute something meaningful to this world and to my life.

On my last day of work many of my co-workers hugged me, many said meaningful things to me and the goodbyes and good lucks were heartfelt. Many customers signed my retirement card; many said cool things about me.

This has happened to me before and I let it slide right past me. This time I took notice.

I have thought about the mistakes I have made, mistakes I refuse to repeat (again).

I did not waste this month and I feel good about that. I overcame 62 years of inertia and began moving in the right direction.

I am a lucky son of a bitch, I know it, and I will not waste this opportunity.

I am not wasting this opportunity.

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