And On The Fourth Day......................

I was motoring home last Friday night thinking typical Friday night thoughts.

It is a luxury to have a 4 day weekend every week, and I especially enjoy it now because I am putting each weekend to good use. 

I was thinking about the four days to come with an inner smile when suddenly it hit me - on the fourth day - Tuesday (tomorrow) - I begin 44 consecutive week days of radiation cancer treatment.

It hit me like a Biblical quote - "And on the fourth day he began radiation therapy."

Pretty much wiped the smile out of my innards.

Ironically, as I was writing this I got a call from the hospital reminding me of the appointment.

No avoiding it, baby. Reality intrudes.

I am trying to take a tough guy approach (defined as no worry) but it is a bit weird to think about my body being zapped. Burn baby, burn. Cancer, for Christ sake. The mind naturally wanders down twisted paths. 

As usual the side effects thing looms large. Last week they gave me a list - a long list - of potential side effects, ranging from the most common, least worrisome, to some shit that sounds apocalyptic.

The hormone therapy thing has not gone badly, and I am coming at this hard - eating healthy, eating less, losing weight, exercising my ass off - so I am hoping the side effects are minimal.

Of course I am worried about being able to keep up that pace. The number one side effect that everyone agrees on is fatigue. That word covers a wide range. Will I be tired or will I be narcoleptic?

Sleepy Joe.

I am at another one of those tipping points - the Day Before Day One.

I am nervous. Nervous about radiation, and freaked out a bit about how weird my life is gonna be for a while.

I start on April 6 and end on June 7. That sounds like a long stretch. It is a long stretch. Starting in phony New England spring, ending in real New England spring.

The only bonus is that I get out of work 1/2 an hour early every day between now and then.

The best approach is to be fatalistic. The Tony Soprano "what are you gonna do" approach. I can't ignore the cancer - they have made it very clear that it is High Risk. Ignoring it sounds like a death sentence.

So I gotta do this. So just do it.

Whatever else this is, it sure as hell is a character builder.