Hatred Grows

Prostate cancer and its attendant worries, and radiation treatment have intensified my hatred for my job.

Strange existence these days. 

I go to work and wallow in its insignificance, then I leave, drive to the hospital and get zapped.

The zapping has become a routine. I have been issued a membership card. Walk in, greet the receptionist, scan the card under the card reading machine, it beeps - announcing to the world that Joe has arrived.

I wait ten minutes. Someone comes out to get me. They vary, but I think I know them all by now, even after only 4 sessions. Good people.

Hand my membership card to my chaperone, walk down the same corridor, another person scans the card, I walk into The Room.

Someone stands in front of me holding a sheet, I drop my pants, I drop my underwear, and climb onto the table covered by the sheet. Very dignified.

They line me up using the tattoos they previously marked me with; they leave the room. The machine begins to rotate around me.

A weird experience. Thankfully, all told, it takes 15 minutes.

But I digress.

Bossman at work is the type of guy who thinks volume equals authority. He talks loudly about work related things and he will gladly cut you off to maintain his superiority.

He also talks differently to different people.

This is a trait I despise in people.

He talks to the chief building inspector with respect, he talks to me like a servant.

Of course I don't respond well to his lack of respect. I let him know when I am angry, and I address him with a lot of sarcasm (in that underhanded way that intelligent people use).

Two compliments I have received in life that always stuck with me.

1) A close friend of mine once told me that I taught him how to hug. He was not a huggy guy until he met me. Now he is and he enjoys it. I love that.

2) I worked for a book distributor years ago. I interacted with warehouse people and administrative people. On my last day, a guy from the warehouse told me he respected me because I talked to warehouse people and vice presidents in the same way.

I was touched by that.

Bossman at work doesn't do that. I think he is incapable of it because he is obviously petty.

I hope he crashes and burns in a sex scandal involving twisted photos of tangled body parts covered in mud, alongside Marquis de Sade-like implements of destruction.

Fuck him.