Not By A Long Shot

Let's talk about weight.

I lost 10 pounds. I felt fantastic. I was convinced that, contrary to what medical experts insisted on telling me, I was not only not going to gain weight during hormone therapy - I was going to lose weight.

I lost 10 pounds. I stayed at that weight for 4 weeks. On the 5th week - this week - I gained three pounds. Having changed nothing. I was still exercising regularly and dieting religiously.

I was and am fucking furious.

I have a vision of coming out of radiation looking good - thinner and healthier. I want to walk out of radiation and fucking covid into a new world as a new me. This is important to me.

I just got my second hormone shot this week. This will go on every 12 weeks for 2 years. So the challenge is not going away any time soon. Once again I got the lecture about how easy it will be to gain weight and how bad that can be for me.

So I stepped things up. I will not be defeated.

When I first committed to this, I exercised 4 days a week. Now I exercise in one way or another on 7 days a week. I am pushing myself a little more every time I feel up to it, with an aware respect for my age.

When I weighed myself on Tuesday I was depressed. Felt defeated. Felt like maybe I am wasting my time.

Then I got furious.

This fight is not over.

Not by a long shot.