The Meditation Shtick

You gotta be careful about the whole meditation shtick.

I bopped around the Insight Timer website looking for meditations on confidence. Found one I like. Kind of. I am going to test it out for a while, see if I start exuding confidence like a used car salesman trying to steamroll you into buying a fucking deathtrap.

The meditation is a cross between hypnosis and meditation. I don't think hypnosis will work on me because my mind is already numb from the horror of the life I live.

But you never know.

It's a 20 minute deal, the guy talks in a soothing voice. The goal is to get you into a trancelike state so that the words and statements he repeats can eventually become a part of your psyche.

I accept the premise because I believe the mind has unlimited potential, especially when it has not been challenged in decades.

Some of the things this guy says taste pretty good - "you can do anything you set your mind to; you deserve to be happy; positive thoughts are like rocket fuel (I'm paraphrasing); you already have everything you need inside of you." Especially the last one - I know that to be true. 

If I could directly access my essence I would rule the world. But getting to my essence is problematic; it is buried under layers of sludge.

He also says "you are perfect; the universe is perfect; life supports you in every possible way; you are one with the universe and the universe is everything."

This is why brainless conservatives hate liberals - we give them so much ammunition. These words make me cringe.

I am not perfect - this is why I seek the comfort of meditation. Life does not support you - it fucks you every time you take your eye off the ball. I won't even get into the "one with the universe" bullshit.

What I need from meditation is inspiration, words I can work with, concepts that change the way I think. 

What I don't need is platitudes. Especially of the milquetoast variety.

As I write these words it occurs to me that this meditation will not take root in my brain. There is too much mamby pamby stuff for me to deal with; it will overwhelm the helpful words. I'll get into a trancelike state and feel peace, then all of a sudden "one with the universe" will pop up and shatter my calm.

But that is the beauty of meditation - there are 650 million reflections to choose from.

I'll keep trying.