Only One Person Died, So.........................

Carol and I are officially separated.

45 years in the same bed is enough - she has cast me out. Allow me to explain.

We met with the sleep study folks last Wednesday. Carol accompanied me because she knows exactly what is going on with me nocturnally, and has a wealth of information to offer. It was Carol's idea to tag along. She is a thinker. I emote.

Acccording to Carol there are many times each night that I "stop breathing". Sometimes long enough to alarm her; those are the moments when she punches me in the shoulder. Eventually she falls asleep - apparently the possibility of me dying is not unduly worrying to her.

I also choke myself "awake" quite a bit. This worries her. She says it sounds weird and dangerous. I actually think I choked myself awake one night recently before Carol came to bed, but I might have dreamed it. Nevertheless it was remarkably unsettling.

The thing is that I never remember any of this when I awake in the morning, not the choking, not the punching - none of it. So Carol was able to provide intimate details to the sleep guru. Very valuable.

Interesting conversation; Dr. Sleep provided a wealth of information, Carol provided a wealth of information, the Doc asked probing questions that resulted in me learning a lot.

She casually slipped into the conversation that only one person in their sleep studies that she is aware of actually died from sleep apnea, and that person "probably had a pre-existing heart condition." I was thrilled to learn this.

Lying on the back results in sleep apnea if you are prone to it. I can't sleep any other way now that I am an elder. The actual overnight sleep study is not until March 21. I asked Dr. Sleep if sleeping in the recliner until then would be safer and beneficial. She enthusiastically said "You bet your ass, hot shot!"

In fact she said there are three options to dealing with sleep apnea - surgery, CPAP, or the recliner. I asked if she was serious about the recliner thing; she said absolutely.

I have slept in the recliner 8 nights in a row. My recliner is dangerously comfortable. Am I sleeping "better?" Exhaustion persists. Then again I have 20 years of sleep deprivation to make up for. I fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer in the recliner. I don't feel like the sleep is any better, but March 21 is light years away - this is a good test. We shall see.................

Meanwhile, Carol sleeps alone. It must be awful for her not to have me next to her. Her rock, her provider, her protector - the man who has given her the comfort of a fat bank account with his wildly improbable success. Well, I gave her my love at least. And continue to do so.

Ultimately, I don't want a CPAP monster on my face. If recliner-sleeping proves successful, what will I do?

We have discussed it. Neither of us wants to continue with this trial separation. After 45 years of marriage we have earned the right to have a warm body within reach. It is comforting. But what if, after a couple of more weeks, I am suddenly running 5K's and deadlifting 1100 pounds?

The lure of a sudden return to youth............................