Nerve Endings Tingle

Sy Safransky is the founder and editor of The Sun.

The Sun is a magazine I have been reading for decades. It is human, personal, quirky sometimes, honest, and raw. These are attributes I require as much as oxygen. Unfortunately, oxygen is much more generally available.

A guy on Sy's staff recently described conversations with Sy as "serious and heartfelt and sad and unguarded yet somehow never cloying or sentimental." This appeals to me. I wish I could meet the man.

I enjoy engaging in conversations that are serious, heartfelt, and sad - honest conversations. I struggle with unguarded, and with not being cloying or sentimental.

Unguarded for sure. I am in a prison of my own making. But I can perform on command in many situations.

Cloying and sentimental. I am a man of raging emotions. Emotions rule and consume me. I get emotional about everything. Emotions sap my energy because humans are not designed to be emotional 24/7. Human beings are designed to submit, to obey commands, and to bury their emotions under a shit-ton of delusional justifications.

My emotions burn me out, brother.

Which is why I think - maybe - just maybe - I come across as cloying and sentimental in serious, heartfelt, and sad conversations.

But, given what I have to work with, I can accept my raging emotions. They are proof that I am alive. My nerve endings tingle when emotions flood my bloodstream. 

My soul smiles appreciatively.