Christmas music is piercing the air of The Booze Emporium. If I am not mistaken, which happens from time to time, I believe it started on the day before Thanksgiving.
This drives most people crazy. A constant loop of Christmas tunes.
I don't mind. I like the music. I am partial to the emotional, dramatic songs. Not a big fan of Frosty The Snowman.
One of the songs talks about how Christmas comes from the heart. It slam danced me to the floor, I bounced up and started whirling around the store with arms outstretched and a smile on my face.
I am digging Christmas this year. Its vibe is coursing through my veins and I like the way it feels. This is not normally the case. There have been many years when the day itself mattered, but everything leading up to it meant nothing.
My heart is in a different place this year. I have worked very hard this year on myself and although I am still not driving a bright red Ferrari 458 Italia, I have made a change. Deep down inside of me where nobody else knows, nobody else can see.
I feel optimistic. I think I am experiencing something called happiness, although the feeling is foreign to me and I cannot be unequivocally sure.
So my heart and arms are open and I am feeling Christmas every day. Digging the lights when I drive home at night, digging the music, digging the subtle change that comes over people at this time of year, looking forward to another glorious day with my family in whatever permutation materializes on the 25th.
Carol and I vowed to put our tree up on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. We didn't do it. Now I am anxious beyond belief to put it up before time slips away and we are doing it on 12/24. Anxious to slap Love Actually into the DVD machine on a quiet night and dig it with my loving wife. And then do it again at least five more times before wrapping paper is shredded.
I love sitting at night with only the Christmas tree lights on, listening to music or listening to my heart. It provokes introspection and peace within me, tears sometimes. I enjoy those moments deeply. An escape from harsh reality into the absolute truth of my heart and of my soul.
Side thought. John Lennon and Paul McCartney, two titans of the music world. Gods. Paul's contribution to the season is Wonderful Christmas Time. John's is Happy Christmas (War is Over). Tells you everything you need to know about their different perspectives. I prefer John's offering. Its introspective, it asks you to think about your year, what have you done, wishes you fun on Christmas and a new year without any fear for EVERYONE. That is my idea of Christmas and the new year.
There was a Christmas season recently when I would cloister myself in my writing room at night after work and pop on a John Lennon greatest hits CD. Happy Christmas and Imagine were back to back on the CD. I would play them over and over and over, night after night. Listening in tears. I was really down at the time and I needed to hear those words because they reflect my opinion of how the world should be. I didn't believe any of that could ever come true, but I was desperate for words of hope.
I can listen to them this year from a completely different perspective. I still don't believe any of it will ever come true, but now the words reinforce the hope I have in my heart, the hope I have for me and my family. I can't worry about this evil world we live in. At least not all the time. But I can create a 100 mile vibe that may bring me elusive happiness and protect my family. The tears will be happy tears in 2011.
That is why I am so glad that my heart is open this year and that I am feeling Christmas. It changes everything. For a brief period I can enjoy feeling different. More alive, more aware, more reflective, more grateful. And sometimes even just plain happy.
One complaint. There is a song that pops up every year with a chorus that includes the line "in the air". It is a dramatic and a beautiful song, maybe my favorite Christmas song (if it is a Christmas song). It was on The Booze Emporium loop last year; not this year. I have searched for it under many variations and never been able to find it. But this is 2011. I will find it. I will own it and I will drive Carol crazy listening to it repeatedly.
That's it. I am in Christmas mode and I make no apologies. Gonna ride this supreme feeling right into 2012 and into the driver's seat of a brand spanking new bright red Ferrari 458 Italia.
No comments:
Post a Comment